Went out to mug again with josephine, yanyi, daniel, matthias and sylvia in the end. Wasn't even remotely close to being productive. I'm done with SS, thankfully, but i've done like nothing for math. And im worried now, very worried.
Somehow i had managed to persuade myself not to focus on my math in the library because i just felt like sleeping, having slept at like 3am this morning. But now that i got home i start to worry about math, because suddenly, i don't exactly feel like failing it anymore.
I guess yanyi got mad at me over lunch. =/ Sorry girl, we didn't mean to like, leave you alone there or complain about you or anything. Was just picking fun. It's a small misunderstanding. I knw you're not that petty yet. So yeah, don't be mad anymore.
Second half of the day was basically slacking through. And taking the pain of deleting 100+ of my smses but still not even halfway there. Ah, i will finish deleting it one day! Then matthias left. So i entertained myself by talking with sylvia.
Sylvia and i then went for our cheese waffles and oreo
Went back and talked to sylvia about our lives. I mean, some interesting issues. And later sylvia went off. So josephine and daniel were talking some random rubbish with me. Hmm..kind of good to talk about things once in awhile. Clears my head.
And i took like 20 minutes to walk home at a slower-than-snail-speed speed today. Just felt kind of worn out and..i don't knw, sad or something? But yeah. Shall not let it affect my mood for upcoming papers. 3 more to go and im free.
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I've thought things through.. I guess i'll still have to depend on myself for the motivation to ignite my passion again. Cos i really hope i'll be able to do it, so i can enjoy myself while at it too.
Cos i wished i could help, but how do i do that when im disliking it so much now? I'd hate to feel like im forcing myself to do things i don't want to. So i shall try and make myself do things like how i used to love it so much.. So don't worry, i'll honour my words.
I just want to be like you. When i could treat it like it was my life and enjoy every moment of it.
Just a simple sentence, a simple incident, can spark off my motivation. I really hope i'll be able to get there because i knw what i want for it. No more disappointment..
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