Apparently, i've made a decision after s.teo's call to my father. It really pissed my father off anyway, so he pissed me off next. He told s.teo that i am not gna make it to university and told her not to talk about going to step for scholarship application. That was his stand.

After he hung up the phone and learnt that my rvtt camp might clash, he tried to dissuade me going to rvtt camp by wanting me to go step camp. 'Do you knw how to prioritise? This camp can get you a scholarship, and what does your cca camp do? Can it get you your 'A's in the exam?' WTF. How ironic.

So he left me with the decision myself. Telling me that he don't want my constant over-attention in cca affect my studies. But if i choose to go step camp, i've got to pay for it myself. Which implies he wants me to go for none. Like that's bullshit alright. I don't give a bloody damn to my cca anymore, but that's another thing with the camp. I just can't not go. Yes, i will still have senior farewells, i will still have camps, but what he don't understand that it won't be the same batch of seniors, it won't be the same camp. Moreover, it might be my last chance to lead it as head coordinator with the 3 others.

And he said, 'honestly, i hate you playing table tennis.' And he gave me a really ridiculous reason to go with it too. I've just decided, im giving up step camp. Well, i might never get a second chance, but i can do nothing about it because both camps are equally important. Whichever way i'll still have to make a decision.. I might have chose this to spite him, or i just can't bring myself to shirk the responsibility i have.

I haven't spoken more than 5 sentences ever since i reached home 2 hours ago. I think normally i'd be rattling off to my mother about how my day went, much as she's not interested in listening. Well, though she isn't the one who disallowed me to go for the camps, she had a part by putting in a bad word for me after every sentence my father spoke, basically. Might as well.

Chem paper is gna own me. But hey, it's not like i really care anymore. Tmr's physics and im gna get owned too. Sad but true and mugging is seriously useless. I wish i could just chuck everything out of the window and not care, but somehow i'll find myself picking up my files to read. Slackers can't mug, and when they do, nothing is achieved but a major mental exhaustion.

So i got home at 6pm feeling very worn out and all i wanted to do was drop down and sleep before continuing on my mugging later. But my mother told me to go down and buy dinner for everyone. 'You brother has a headache.' WOW. He has a headache but he's sitting away infront of the computer playing his stupid maple story. You mean headache can't go down buy food but can play games on the comp? So my brother cleverly went to sleep. So i had to go down anyway.

It's always a bad day on an exam day from the start all through till the end. I can't even be left alone for a while to study. Can't everyone like shut up for once. Stop giving me such bullshit already. I still want to study my physics, now don't blame me if i fail it.