Went out with Josephine today. I know, I also feel bad that I bailed out drama meeting to go out. But the thing is that I had already given my word and I don’t want to go back on it, because we haven’t went out for so long. Anyway, not the whole group turned up. But still, I’m sorry…

Met her at bugis first then went to eat lunch. Did some catching up over lunch. Man, it’s been so long since I went out with her and shared our problems and stuff. Perhaps I can say that over the past few weeks that we have given up our weekly Thursday lunches for our various commitments, many changes took place and needs to be updated about. It feels good to have someone listening again…after so long….

Went into many shops and saw many nice things to buy, but just can’t make up my mind. After a while, we left for orchard. Bought a pure milk tee and skirt there. Like it lots, even my mother thinks they’re nice. Then after much consideration, we went back to bugis to buy that M-industrie top I saw. We went tiong there to eat Macs and saw Melvin. Haha she also thinks he looks funny in the uniform =x Then I went back to JP and bought that unique cow keychain I’ve seen for so long. Why is it unique? It has one white leg and one black leg! Haha. Bought quite a lot of things today. Though I’m low on cash. But all those pay by card =x Heh.

The book that I borrowed yesterday was damn nice. Not wrong to decide to look for it in the library. Probably going to return there for more books. Whee. I sound like a nerd. But not really, considering I haven’t touched any of the holiday homework apart from math. And there’s retarded drama lesson tmr. A full 2 hours long. Imagine! Even in the holidays I have to see that Miss Red! Pure misery and torture. At least now I still have a Wednesday free. And I can’t believe that I actually forgot there is training tmr for a while.

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Already missed two weeks of it. Is it really that different without you around? Even my seeming habit can go out of place. Is that even a habit, or just something which I did for you…turned into a habit. Like what she says too, all I need is a definite answer. But definite answers crush all doubts, suspicions, delusions and such. If the answer is not the way I want it, I can only face it and move on. Maybe it would be better to remain this way, but I find that second-guessing is so very tiring. All I want to do is to believe. To have that faith which had never gone away. To be assured that all of this would be worth at the end of the day. To know, you have never really left me.

Well, some might think. What is the difference with our without you? I still laugh at stupid jokes, I still cry when I’m down. I find that my laughing might not necessarily imply that I’m happy, or when I feel sad it is about anything else but you. It all feels empty, if you even know what that means. If I, myself, can even fathom what it means. This made me a mentally weaker person, though I’d hate to admit. I just hate myself so much to be in such ridiculously pathetic self-pitying state. This is not me and I know it, you know it. I just can’t run or hide anymore. From the fact that I miss you... 现在我的幽默 是掩饰着心痛 我的难过

要忘记一个你深爱的人， 或许， 只能靠着时间， 和另一个爱你的人。
也许， 时间只能证明爱的深浅，
也许， 爱你的人只能默默的， 在你身边，
听着， 守着， 存在着，
也或许， 过了一段阴暗无光， 也无星子也无月的夜，
天亮之后， 海阔天空， 我们都会幸福。