Monday, March 19

Didn't get to update yesterday, was too busy trying to finish up all the holiday assignments which i did not touch at all in the whole span of the holidays but instead left it till the last minute. For myself to have a race against time. I lost, terribly. Aww... Okay larh, wasn't that bad. I managed to finish all my math assignments, including that extensively troublesome constellation exercise. All the fractions and decimals are making me damn frustrated, but i finished it anyway. I didn't complete my history essay question though, so going to hand in tmr morning. Ohwell.

Shall not blog too much about yesterday since it was mainly rushing of holiday assignments in je library with many many seniors. I don't knw why, damn many seniors turned up there yesterday, then me and zhijun seemed like the extras when it was us we reached there and did our homework there first.

Was on the very crowded bus back home...when i suddenly thought of what i was becoming. This very slack person who always doesn't do her homework. And i remembered people telling me 'thought your results in sec 1 very good...', 'then you've practically done nothing!..', 'sometimes you rather AP...', 'why you become more slack than me...' and i really was like, omg, what's happening to me... Zzz i don't want to continue about this...

First day of term 2, one term is over so fast. Well, many things happened in term 1 bah, both good and bad. One bad thing is my results and one good thing...hmm maybe i gained a rather enthusiastic and bonded class 3H? Yeah, so hopefully this new term promises better things and such. My results will hopefully get better and also, hope i would stop being so emo. Although i already said im out of emo phase, but hey, such things can't just change themselves overnight. I still think too much as always...

Today was just like any other day of school. Boring and all. PE was training for napfa test in a few weeks time. Found that my inclined pull-ups deproved by 12 and sit-ups deproved by about 10. Zzz, got to have to train more on my own now. Random, random all the way till music. Ah! Music, yes. Got that teacher again, same as last year. Oh what the hell, i seriously can't stand her stupid sarcasm which she thinks is so damn smart-alecky. Ohwells. Couldn't really give much damn to her. I'm just probably going to fail my music. But then again, who cares.

After school , supposedly stayed back to do my history assignment, but i couldn't concentrate in the class. So i decided to hand it in tmr. Then i went to the hall to watch my juniors train, they are really very funny and cute. And zhijun came and trained with them, and we left soon after peiqi came. Was just telling her about the many stupid things i used to always think about when i was young. But she found it rather amusing. Maybe it's interesting to her bah, but i really think it's kind of some lame thing which i happened to occupy my mind with when i got nothing to do in the past. Haha.

Tournament against presbyterian high tmr. Zzz probably going to get thrashed or something. But still, jiayou to all 'C' and 'B' division girls tmr...

----

It really isn't so easy to change my mindset overnight. What has been said really isn't very enough. Has everything changed? I find that i have nothing to talk to you about now and im unable to initiate conversations like the past. And i hate it. I really hate this. I want to be able to be like last time, to be able to talk any kind of random rubbish with you, important or not. But it's so different now, i seem to sub-consciously carefully pick what i want to say because there seemed to be an unseen border over what can be said, and what should be left unspoken. Maybe because a definite answer had been given, the answer which i don't want to accept. I'm just afraid that it would become one-sided. I want it back, i want everything back. Because i hate this change.

P.S. To people who have no clue about the parts like above in my blog posts, would you people mind NOT to anyhow infer like a stupid noob because it probably isn't like what you're thinking. If you're wondering whether i broke up with my stead or something, then i can just tell you that i didn't and never even had a stead to start with. So shut it up already.

No comments: