i flunked my sc interview...hahaha...
but its fun! i was like in the
school since 9 when my interview
starts at 12. hurhur. then watched
all my friends come in and go out
of special room one. all come out with
" i flunk le" so i didnt have high
hopes. i dun wanna be anyway. but
still felt a bit disappointed. haha.

and ms teo freaked me out today.
i was juz sitting there and talking
to ariel, jos and gk when she came over
and asked in a very excited voice
"sinyee! do you want to help me
plan a trip to m'sia?" omg. i was like
soooo freaked out. wad has it got to
do with me? so i made a very very
quick decision in my head. i mean. wad
can i say? the answer is an obvious yes.
maybe it will be fun lorh...budden
how does it concern me larh. so
now i hafta stay back after school
on wednesday to discuss this thing.
ok. great. :/

and i went in the interview and i
got shot down like how chamm.
nvm. i wont get in de larh. but it
doesnt matter. hmm...all cos of time
management lorh...if not for that i
wont hesitate so long when they ask
me whether i can cope if i become sc.
i hesitated like HOW LONG before
i said yes...

BECAUSE I GET DEPRESSED
EASILY LARH! HOW YOU EXPECT ME
TO SAY THIS TO MS TAN? TO
CHOONYEN? MAD ARH. I GAVE A YES
COS IM GIVING MYSELF A CHANCE
TO TAKE UP THIS CHALLENGE LARH.
HOW CAN I JUZ SAY IT LIKE THAT
THAT I DUN THINK I CAN COPE
COS I GET DEPRESSED EASILY?
HOW? SO IM FORCED TO SAY
A YES LARH. IS THERE ANYTHING
WRONG WITH IT. MY TIME
MANAGEMENT SUX LARH. IF NOT
YOU THINK I WILL STILL HESITATE.
I JUZ SPIT THAT YES OUT STRAIGHT
AWAY LARH RITE.

of course i got shot down.

im feeling so screwed again. wth.
this post wasnt supposed to
end with me feeling screwed.
it was juz supposed t be a post when i say
wad happened. IT WASNT
SUPPOSED TO END THIS WAY AT ALL.
im getting out of control.
i think all this is too much.
see how easily i get depressed?
THATS WHY I HAVE NO
CONFIDENCE I CAN DO A GOOD JOB
BEING AN SC BUT HOW DO
I TELL IT TO THEM? nobody
understands you noe. really.
im NOTHING. dun blame me
for doubting myself. but im of
no use. and there's no second meaning to
that.

wad is MY purpose of life?
i dunno wad i want.