So, I'm back earlier than expected. I don't want to study already. Anyway, there isn't anything to study for languages. So let's see. I flunked history, chem and physics, and maths today. Maybe I'll flunk everything, languanges inclusive. Then I think can die le.

I can't believe I'm like so stupid to leave my maths file and maths set at home. So i didn't study for maths. Not much anyway. I just sat there from 8pm to 11.30pm staring at that piece of permutation worksheet infront of me, but nothing goes into my head. Nothing at all. I'm pretty much done for this time round, byebye to my triple science combi. I knew I couldn't make it. I knw i would never get what I really want. and just what is the point? I studied like crazy for the two sciences, in the end like hell, i didn't knw how to do like half of the questions in physics, but i think my chem might be ever worse. So much for even thinking about the triple science combi.

Maths paper 1 was complete ownage. I don't know like how many pro people managed to finish that damn paper. I was still at pg 4 out of 10 with 30min left. At 8.45 i decided to start from the back. But i still had questions blank. 17 marks gone just like that. Well, blame who? My brain refuses to process anything I've been trying to study so just forget it bah. I'm like feeling hell in the wrong state of mind. I don't know why everytime i do maths, I will have a headache. Seriously, maths causes headaches for me. Anyway at the end of paper 2, i feel damn screwed already. I didn't even bother to check those damn answers with 15 more min to go. I really don't care anymore. It's not like checking helps, I'm gonna fail it anyway.

So after school my head was like going to burst already. But i went jp with jin anyway, get her sis present. But i was like so sian diao my head is throbbing like some shit. Crap, i just feel like dropping dead. I might not even get promoted, but who cares, I'm as good as gone already. No use anymore. I'll just wait for my doom to come.

I dont knw how great is the disappointment when i screwed the science paper. No, disappointed is an understatement. I should say devastated. I totally did not expect this. Even my chem can't make it already. What to do? Well, what can i do? I see after maths paper today, everybody walk around, discussing the questions and i see all of them saying "die le, die le," with a goddamnit smile on their face while i sit in my seat and stare at my pencilcase. You all dont have to discuss any questions with me, because the probability of me getting it correct is like nil. so i guess i have a good reason to hate maths. I'm sure even those questions i did not leave blank, they are wrong as well.

So what can i do? And the last thing i want is to speak to you. Hell, couldn't you like see that I'm totally uninterested in anything that's coming from your mouth? So why can't you like leave me alone?

``sinyee