April fools' day. Nothing special probably because it's a weekend. Just went out to bai4 my grandfather. Basically did nothing there, except rot with my brothers while the adults did most of the work. And i was trying to do my physics assignment 3 there. But i feel so useless, i cannot even complete a single question without my brother's help. This is really ridiculous isn't it? What the hell is the problem with me? I'm only on page 4 out of 10 of the assignment now, think i can like forget about finishing.

Oh yes, i still have my math questions which i left undone to do my physics assignment first. Zzz... and i just remembered i was supposed to hand in a piece of module assignment on friday, which i somehow forgot to. Of course, i haven't even done it yet, and i have no idea how exactly im going to finish it by tonight either.

Sometimes i just so feel like giving up when i finally get down and face the hw squarely in the face. It really makes me wonder how i first got into RV, a seemingly good school. It makes me feel like rubbish. 2.4km run on tuesday, which im so going to flop in. I think i don't even have the speed nor stamina to keep up with sharman anymore. Just got to let my 'A' and my full marks slip away once again. And this fact makes me feel even more like crap. If endurance can do the work alone, i'll gladly pull myself through. And it's too late to even try and train anymore.

Zzz...i feel like im back in the emo phase. But it doesn't matter anyway. I don't even care if im emo or not anymore. Because nobody else cares too. So why bother? If being emo makes me feel good (i think this sounds rather sadistic) then i shall just go ahead and be emo. Nobody can interfere or stop me anymore. Nobody. And when everyone else don't give a damn anymore, i don't see why i should.

I tried to make myself happy everyday, but i can just say it's really difficult to maintain this attitude. It's simply short-lived as it is and i can't do anything about it. Why the hell do i even care to try. It's not like anyone bothers yknw. Yeah, give it up. I'll forget about being happy because it's such a goddamn chore. I'll forget about the promise, which doesn't even matter at all. I'll just go back and be someone who is a pathetic idiot with emo posts. I bet even you don't care anymore. I'm so sorry if you don't like that. You can jolly well get lost and don't come back. Then i'll just have to wait till everyone gets sick and tired and leaves, then i'll have a deserted blog all to myself which saves me the trouble of creating another hidden blog.

Eh. I think im out of my mind. Things will turn out fine, because they always do. What a spoiler to everything. Zzz i obviously need time to chill before i go nuts. Sorry people, don't waste your time on my rubbish posts anymore.