I hate suck-ups. I really really do. I
really cant stand the sight of you sticking
around with people having the insignias.
It is like so ridiculous to do it this way.
Being power-hungry and attention-seeking
is like so annoying. To all of us, to those
ppl you suck up to, and to you. Wad reward
do you gain in doing this? To a position with
great power? In this way, it's not your capability
but juz mere popularity. It turned out otherwise.
sucking up doesnt mean you get everything.
i realised that the seniors dun remember you
at all when we have to like vote or wad.
i noe you wanna be popular. and it's not wrong.
but do you hafta stoop yourself so low to have to
suck up to people in the high positions?
It is juz an action of desparation. maybe you should
see for yourself. how pathetic and blood boiling it
is to see your seniors getting sucked up. that is
UNSIGHTLY. how will you feel if that happened
to you? Nobody can help you if you choose to be such
an irritating suck up. you chose to ruin yourself.
no one will help you. so you can juz STOP sucking up.


went to je lib to study today. i finished my li jie wen da which
is late. i cant finish cos i got tournament and that day so much
hw. wadever. i will flunk all those tests ok.
and that tournament on monday is a sure-lose.
pls dun give me hope. i dun want to have hope and
lose terribly in the end. it will be too much for me.
anyway i bought that soft toy doggy today. another
strike off my wishlist. which is good.
i dread monday's arrival. i dun want to lose yet again.
i have lost countless times but why does matches with
nanyang and dunman make me cry? because i had
hope. i thought we had a chance of winning. especially
for nanyang. even though they were strong, i really
thought we had a chance of winning. as for dunman.
we should have won. but we lost. its all because i have got
hope in those matches. but they came crashing down on me
and ruined everything. our 1st position in west zone.
the top 8 in nationals. we were so close. juz so close
that i cant help but only cry. dun give me
any hope at all for the RGS match. unless a miracle appear
which is impossible, the chances of us winning is an
absolute ZERO.
PLS. no hope or i will break down again if i lose terribly
on that day. i cant take it you noe. stop giving me hope
and telling me i can do it. i noe very well that i cannot.
no matter how on form i am on that day, the
chancs are still ZERO. i noe very well how well
i can do. the match is juz for us to go and court
death. i cant do it and thats it.

--sinyee