alone...

okay. so the people who laughed at my hair today
got to the grand total of three. jun hao, jie ren and in a
most indirect way yuling. dont think by saying i look cute,
i dont get that you are trying to suan my hair. i
know okay =/ and i know those who didnt laugh are just
trying to be polite. ohwells.

folk dance today was okay. i paired with youwei. he is a funny
partner like jiachen. xD lols. we did everything okay.
and the worse thing that can happen happened to me.
tkc asked me to be his dance partner to demo to the
whole class. oh for goodness sake, couldn't he ask any other
random girl instead of me? ma de, i almost died already
when he touched my hand larh. god. i swear that is like
the most embarassing thing can.

and THIMUN comes crashing back today. i was given this
thick booklet which is the reports and resolutions of the first
THIMUN singapore conference. i so cant do this. die already.
shucks man. im not gonna have any question to ask, i wont
know everything i need to know before the meeting
with the IMF rep on wed. shit. im so dead. and the worse thing is,
there's no way out. absolutely nil.

history today was surprisingly okay. but i just hate doing
graded assignments in class. the level of concentration is
abysmal. god. no wonder i flunk everytime. okay that's
not exactly the point. im getting more and more like a loner.
last time i always like to study in a group, go out with ppl, eat with
others and the thing i totally hate is to be alone. but now,
i just adore every morning where i get to walk real slowly
to the bus stop, listening to my hp, and just relax. i hope
it's a long way to the bus stop. i like to be alone. maybe
that's what im getting at, ostracise myself. ohwells. i dunno.

after school i went home earlier. yeah cos im on a saving
spree now and im getting home early for my lunch cos
i didnt have break and my stomach was growling. hahas.
and so i came home and stuffed myself.

honestly i dunno what's the problem yet again. what's your
problem, what's my problem? there is no problem, so
what's the problem actually? ma de, i had enough already lorh.
always got problem or dun even have problem then
anyhow bu shuang me. just because i haven't showed my
temper doesnt mean i dont HAVE one. honestly, it's unfair
to me, and just cos i haven SAID anything, doesnt mean i dont know
what you want to do or i dont care. but sometimes you just
dont bother to explain anything, tell me anything or
basically give a shit. so fine, there's no point anymore.
dont tell me you want to hold. there's nth more to hold
and it should have fallen long ago.

if it's over let it go and
come tmr it will seem
so yesterday, so yesterday
im just a bird that's already flown away.
laugh it off let it go and
when you wake up it will seem
so yesterday, so yesterday
haven you heard that im gonna be okay.

izzit really so easy? arrarently not.