Sometimes i really wonder whether i turn people off that much. Everything really seems alright to me, not the way like how HE said it. I knw i do have attitude problem sometimes, but surely it is not to the extend of how HE had said, right? It would be an extremely sad case if it really is. Who did i think i have, HE's telling me i never had them. HE's telling me they all hate me, HE's telling me nobody can stand me. And HE's saying this, even about the one i trust next to most. & i don't knw what kind of senior is HE.

Basically, HE's just trying to let me knw that im publicly hated but no one says anything and continues acting nice to me while in fact they all really hates me and my attitude and wishes me to get lost forever.

Sometimes, i find it just hard not to believe it. Although i knw very well, what he had said might not be true at all. But there's still doubt in my mind. Maybe it's the doubt that overrules everything. I find this unacceptable. If HE's telling me the person i trusted so much actually hates me all along, well, why don't you just kill me. I think im better off dead then. It takes so much to make a friend, moreover someone you believe in. It takes so much to build up the trust, and what HE just told me just made me lose faith in everyone and everything.

Actually i just wanted to say. Whether you really do hate me to the core or not, please just let me knw instead of acting nice to me but publicising to the whole world about how much you hate me. Why don't you just come out front and say it. It's alot more hurting to find out from others. Especially if you are my friend. It's a whole lot less hurting to hear it from your own mouth than to hear from someone else.

Whether it's true or not...i really wonder...