No inspiration for blogging. Nowadays i just come to blogger like it's set on my brain's default function. Enter username and password, Create New Post. Blank. Then i'll be stoning down here thinking of what i want to blog about. Sometimes i just don't want to blog about the lessons, sometimes my thoughts are too messed up to be organised properly, sometimes what i want to say can't really be blogged at all.

Ermm...so today will be yet another boring old routine-daily-life kind of post. Leave if you feel bored halfway. I'm not feeling entertaining so, don't blame me for an uninteresting post. Not like my posts have ever been interesting anyway.

Had 30min to think of class name today. Initially settled on 3Huh? Which i thought was rather dumb. Miss chia didn't accept it anyway, so still had to choose another one. I wonder when this will ever be done. I'm getting damn sick of thinking about the same things over and over again. I hope it could be settled quickly then..

I have no idea how im going to pass my math. I'm not exactly very good at memorising all the formulas and stuff. Ohwell.

History, didn't really talk much. Supposed to do a project work. I'm doing it with sylvia. CID was...smelly. It's a totally normal word to describe it, considering im in Scents and Fragrances cluster. Cutting up orange skin, extracting essential oils etc. Our group was rather alright. Released 10min late.

Rushed back for physics. Goh sm not happy because class didn't answer her questions. Not like we could help it. She is damn boring. Lang Arts, i don't even want to talk about it. I'm wondering if hook is supposed to come in and talk bout letters and letters all the time? Chinese was, stupid. It always is. I don't knw what is AGH's problem. Not like i want to knw anyway. I can't remember anything else.

After school went training with sherry, zhijun, edmund and antonio. I played match with sherry most of the while. lost more than won. Left at 5.30pm. I went Anchorpoint to get something. Then i took 198 back and reached at 7.50pm. And got nagged at by my father because i've been reaching home at like close to 8pm for this whole week. And probably tmr too, since there's training. And that is out of my control.

And so ends my boring old day.

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& so im nothing to you? Just kept criticising me, like im worthless and all. Just because i don't help you in some things, do you really have to put me down like that? Yeah of course, my brothers are THE BEST. My older brother is 3rd in his class in a neighbourhood school. You asked me why i can't be third in my class.. Yeahyeah, my younger brother got the bursary this year along with my older brother. Yeahyeah, i didn't get anything at all. I'm hopeless already. Yeahyeah. Everything is my fault.

V day want to buy stuff for my friends you also not happy, say V day should tell my friends that i love my father and mother. Saying you always give me money when you bring me to school in your car. Hello, when's the last time i even set foot in your goddamn car larh. Ask me i buying for guy or girl. This is stupid. I'm not 3 years old, i can think for myself. And i think im alot more sensible than you think i am. At least i didn't get into ANY relationships since entering of secondary school like you bet i would. Save the bullshit larh.

Tell my brother he get bursary he will give my brother extra $100 increasing every year. & i asked you what if i got a bursary. And you said "You won't get it because you're too proud of yourself" Crazy. I don't even knw what the hell you're saying. Too proud of myself, that was like my PRIMARY 3's mentality and ego. This shows what you knw about me only stopped at primary 3. Which is extremely shi bai. And it doesnt help by saying i wont get it.

Never got abit of encouragement from you. Tell me don't be a kaypoh and be chairperson. Tell you i cross country 21st got a trophy, you told me "21st so lousy also can get trophy?" Trainings you also don't support. Tell me i won't ever get far with playing table tennis. Tell me not to go for trainings on saturdays because they are a waste of time. Tell me no use in getting into RV when i have such academic results. Tell me i would be the first in RV to go into ITE. Quite a large amount of encouragement you gave me huh?

You can't blame me for not liking to stay home. Because you were the one who made me feel like im nothing, NOTHING AT ALL to you nor the family. Made me feel ever so unimportant. So why am i even trying to be a better daughter? I'm nothing in your eyes anymore.Don't tell me i don't knw how to appreciate what they have done for me. I knw it clearly well what im saying and i don't think it sounds childish of sorts. I have never addressed my father and mother as dad or mum or anything like that. Just father and mother. I don't feel even close enough to call mum or dad. I knw clearly well that i have never really liked, not to mention loved, my family before.

Giving me money for allowance and providing for me = love me? WOW. NEWSFLASH.

Because after all that, it's hard to believe you even cared at all.

I have no idea why i did that. Bu si xin ye hai mei fang qi.