Module work got me stuck damn long. Basically i think im just writing alot of beating-around-the-bush crap. Ah it's damn late and i think i can't wake up tmr. I still have my math undone ): Im going to make sure i understand as i copy tmr. I don't want to go on like this.

I think im too paranoid. I always second-guess people's kindness. I always wonder what motive they have. I think i really think too much. Sometimes maybe i just need assurance that i really do have one or two people who are totally true. Because much as i wanted to believe, whatever that happened so far had proved me wrong one too many times. Maybe that is why i don't trust so easily. That's why i have so many insecurities. About everyone and everything. Sometimes even assurance from someone can set me thinking whether i really have anyone with me at all. Anyone.

& anyway the purpose of this post is not about paranoia at all.

. It was only a few sentences but i read it so many times i could memorise every single word. Why does it differ so much from what you just said to me. Maybe the few sentences wasn't even what i thought at all. Maybe i'd just assumed everything. Maybe you weren't even talking about me at all. Assumptions all made by myself. Self-proclaimed. I'd hate to have any doubts but what are you telling me? Just what the hell do you want me to think? I wasn't going to let you go, i wasn't going to give in so easily to the impossibility. Yes, it will still happen eventually but i wasn't going to give in that easily. I realised i wasn't ready to let you go.