im filled wif suicidal tots...i asked hong bout it today

the answer turned out negative.i knew.

she said she wants to se my mum...i dunno which subject she referred to..

i only noe that im in trouble.BIG TIME.

and i told my mum and she is TOTALLY not helping..

she said "if ur tcher wants to see me, i will juz sae thati think u r spending

all too much time on ur proj."

PLEASE! lyk i can choose lah ok!which freak will want damn many proj

until u cant really do ur hw or wadever and then still needa

kana scold? counting out the scolding part, doing proj r tired enuff

especially when u've got a TOP SLACK grp and the memebers r totally

NOT co-operating. espeially for MAJOR proj lyk dramatisation???!!

my results.i got the history SEQ back today.as usual, its damn "lan"

i only got a pathetic 16/30.i juz scraped a PASS. liddat still nvm.

i really shouldnt ask hong at the start of the dae.the news affected my

mood for the whole day.ok, so i dun really cry, but today i cried.

BIG TIME. ya, so until history i was lyk RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE

REINDEER. and i was damn pissed off... then later got maths,

i half expected i will do real "lan" in paper 1,so when phee

said my name, i was hoping for the worst. looking at the paper

i got 37/50. not exactly good for u ppl.I NOE. but it WAS something

for me.ya the retard-brained me...

let me ask u a SIMPLE QUESTION. wad does a failing student need

most? IT WILL BE ENCOURAGEMENT FROM TCHERS, to show them

u haven given up on them. no matter a 1 mark or half, its still worth

complimenting.i should sae i fairly improved. so wad did i get from

phee? NOTHING. ZERO. do u noe how it feel lyk? totally no more

hope! if the presence of my improvement is not felt, how will i noe whether

the tcher still cared anot? this is the most disappointing i should say.

do u ppl noe, how tempting that open window in my kitchen looks

to me? i noe that comitting suicide is not the way to end things

and i, myself used to think that those ppl who comitted suicide over

love matters or results were real stupid. now, see wad happen to me?

i get that suicidal tot. i can almost feel how those ppl hu died of suicide

feels.they have no more way, they r on their own, they cant trust anybody

,nobody cares and they have no more reason to live. YES that is

how I feel now...

i juz about had it wif this frek school. no enjoyment, no play.

eveb after exams, lesson carry on. kayy.mebbe lyk them.

BUT I DUN. yes, i admit that i cant manage stress, i

WANT TO TRANSFER SCHOOL! i got absolutely NOTHING

to look forward to. ok, mebbe the class chalet, but y is it that

ppl juz cant seem to decide on 3 freak dates? its easy enuff, i believe.

some ppl r juz so totally no co-operative AT ALL!

im going psychotic...i dun care!

i noe that im not the only one douing all these work but

mebbe there IS ppl hu feel this way, unable to

voice it out. i dun care wadsoever now im juz damn-it unhappy

wif this school. I HATE IT. so there's this survey today. one

question was lyk 'if u were given another chance to choose a sec school,

u will choose RV' HA and i put DISAGREE. i muz be truthful...i

totaly regret gettin my ass into RV in the first place...TOTALLY.

ya i noe, my friends r tryin to be helpful. at least now i feel that

there will be ppl there for me. but helpful is helpful...u guys cant help me

4eva...RV really changes ppl...really...

nvm...not too much unhappy stuff le...pls tagg...

[~sinyee~]^^