im still down with flu. GRR. making
me fell groggy and sleepy all day.
today is the day the sec 3s leave
for their sec 3 adv camp. the highlight
of their sec 3 life. and ppl who know
this will noe the sec 3s will be gone until
wednesday afternoon. that means i
wont be able to see peiqi for 2 days!
RAHH. nvm. she'll still call me at
night. haha. ok
so i went to the elective course
today and im in ROLLERBLADING!
hahaha. its pretty fun. though
the front part was boringggg.
and our grp which is the sec 2s even
slower than the sec 1s. they are
already able to skate fast. and us?
slow coaches. its not i dun dare to
go fast. i juz dunno the way.
i fell ONE TIME thrughout the whole
SIX HOUR lesson. hahah im pro.
hah ok shant be ego now. tmr
still got another 6 gruelling hrs
of blading. hmmm...maybe if
the gear didnt smell so much
it would be better...and tmr is my
first trng in rvtt b division girls!
hmm.. and peiqi isnt there. bleh.
nvm. i still have my nice sec 4 seniors =)
looking forward to it haha. ok.
im like how sleepy now. stop that flu!

then after school was feeling how sleepy
budden still stay back to discuss bout
cid proj. then saw 4 npcc boys
going over to the canteen extension and
wth, they go open the unlocked
cabinet took out a net and 2 bats
and started playing. wth. i so kan bu
shuang can. they dun even noe which
two parts of the table should go tgt.
then i sat on the canteen bench looking
at them with THAT FACE.
wth. wad a complete insult to rvtt.
play like how lan there. they are not
even supposed to go anywhere near there
or touch our stuffs. then louis went
over to scold them. x) 3 cheers for
louis!

--sinyee

im down with flu. i cant stop sneezing.
im like rudolf the red nose reindeer.
i feel extremely sleepy. i cant
open my eyes. urgh... stop that flu.

someone pls tell me wads the f-ing
prob with my mum. i was doing
my stuffs in my room. then she asked
me to help her untie her sports shoes
shoelaces. i did and i went back
to my room and continued with my stuff.
then she asked me come out
again and help her adjust the tightness
of the shoe. i did and i went back in.
then i came out to use the comp.
and i had music on. ana she said in this
super nasty voice "take the shoes out
larh...listen wad song..."

wtf. i mean dun you noe how to bloody
untie your own shoelaces and adjust
them yourself? hell noes wads the
bloody size of your feet arh huh.
i listen to music you unhappy then
tell me take the shoes out larh. wads
the f-ing prob with listening to songs
larh. you unhappy then go away and
shut up larh. you dunno how to take
the shoe out yourself izzit.
i can take it out for you but you cannot
ask properly one meh. still say
wad listen song. you unhappy
then get lost larh. wtf. its like
bullshit larh rite. juz stop pissing me
off larh.

wahh..i pissed was i last nite. everything
like bu shuang me like that. my father
want me help him write letter. then
my junior refuse to stop talkin to me
on msn then he flare up and scold me.
wtf. them my mum ask me to help
her write the add on the envelope.
then she say my handwriting too
small and wadever. make me write
it over and over again. wtf. then i use
the comp halfway not responding
when im already feeling so fan.
i really really wanted to scream.
i need to let it all out before i go
mad. wads the prob larh.
i seriously think i got some prob.
always feel so weird and depressed.
wtf. and im like how pathetic.
nvm. this entry is filled with
random stuffs. how long has it
been since i last felt accomplished.
haix. like VERY LONG? i didnt think
i felt accomplished at all this yr.
im juz becoming more and more
mad. sometimes i really wonder wads
my purpose in life. you see arh.
im a typical example of a useless
person. my hw always nv hand in
on time, my projects all last
minute work, my exams all
flunk and blah blah...there isnt any
area that i seem to be good in.

i nv show this kinda face i always show
in school to my parents. the reason
being i can dun explain to my
friends but i HAVE TO explain to
my parents. so since i was feeling so
screwed last night, i juz gave my
father that face anyway and i juz refused
to say anything more. and they were the
ones who always say they understand
me the most. HOW WRONG.
they are the ones who are the
most unaware of wad im thinking.
how i feel etc. they nv bother
about how i feel or wadevr. they juz assume
they noe. like how HAHA. if
they noe then they will noe how to
juz get lost and leave me alone when
i show them that face and stop bugging
me. ya wad do i expect. they think
i lead a relaxed life can. they dun see
me struggling with myself during exams.
ALONE. mugging there like nobody's business
until wad time. they dun see it so they
think i dun needa study for the exams.
im like studying in my room and they
nv ever wlk past my room cos its like
the last room closest to the door.
and wad they assume. im using my
hp and sms and chatting in there.
wtf. they only see me use the comp
cos the comp is in the balcony larh rite.
they think i have no hw cos they dun see
me doing it in my room. they dun
think i have any reason to be tired
cos they dunno i wake up at 4am most days
to finish my hw. they dun think that
i am stressed at all juz because i nv
SHOW it to them. they think im very
relexed. yeahh how rite. wtf.
and wad they think of my slacking
bro? study very hard. cos they
ALWAYS walk past his room which
is like juz next to the kitchen.
then nv see him slacking around
and using the comp and playing
ps2. ya they think he is like how
hardworking cos he is 3rd in his class.
how to compare. he is 3rd with
FAILING SUBJ YOU NOE.
at least i dun have larh rite.
and wad kind of school is he in larh.
JURONGVILLE CAN. i go that school
you think i still third. i bet i every
yr top scholar can.wtf. how can compare
like that? tell him come my school and see if
he can get 3rd larh. you think get
3rd so easy in rv arh. at least
not for me larh. im stupid
mah cannot meh. wth. everything wanna
compare. when i get back my psle
score and im at least 40 marks more than
him not as if they got say anything larh
rite. wtf. its so wadever. why dun they see it.

--sinyee
and im full of hatred. for everything. everyone.

i flunked my sc interview...hahaha...
but its fun! i was like in the
school since 9 when my interview
starts at 12. hurhur. then watched
all my friends come in and go out
of special room one. all come out with
" i flunk le" so i didnt have high
hopes. i dun wanna be anyway. but
still felt a bit disappointed. haha.

and ms teo freaked me out today.
i was juz sitting there and talking
to ariel, jos and gk when she came over
and asked in a very excited voice
"sinyee! do you want to help me
plan a trip to m'sia?" omg. i was like
soooo freaked out. wad has it got to
do with me? so i made a very very
quick decision in my head. i mean. wad
can i say? the answer is an obvious yes.
maybe it will be fun lorh...budden
how does it concern me larh. so
now i hafta stay back after school
on wednesday to discuss this thing.
ok. great. :/

and i went in the interview and i
got shot down like how chamm.
nvm. i wont get in de larh. but it
doesnt matter. hmm...all cos of time
management lorh...if not for that i
wont hesitate so long when they ask
me whether i can cope if i become sc.
i hesitated like HOW LONG before
i said yes...

BECAUSE I GET DEPRESSED
EASILY LARH! HOW YOU EXPECT ME
TO SAY THIS TO MS TAN? TO
CHOONYEN? MAD ARH. I GAVE A YES
COS IM GIVING MYSELF A CHANCE
TO TAKE UP THIS CHALLENGE LARH.
HOW CAN I JUZ SAY IT LIKE THAT
THAT I DUN THINK I CAN COPE
COS I GET DEPRESSED EASILY?
HOW? SO IM FORCED TO SAY
A YES LARH. IS THERE ANYTHING
WRONG WITH IT. MY TIME
MANAGEMENT SUX LARH. IF NOT
YOU THINK I WILL STILL HESITATE.
I JUZ SPIT THAT YES OUT STRAIGHT
AWAY LARH RITE.

of course i got shot down.

im feeling so screwed again. wth.
this post wasnt supposed to
end with me feeling screwed.
it was juz supposed t be a post when i say
wad happened. IT WASNT
SUPPOSED TO END THIS WAY AT ALL.
im getting out of control.
i think all this is too much.
see how easily i get depressed?
THATS WHY I HAVE NO
CONFIDENCE I CAN DO A GOOD JOB
BEING AN SC BUT HOW DO
I TELL IT TO THEM? nobody
understands you noe. really.
im NOTHING. dun blame me
for doubting myself. but im of
no use. and there's no second meaning to
that.

wad is MY purpose of life?
i dunno wad i want.

I dun believe it. i juz dun believe it.
i mugged until like 12 last night to
study for the geog test and i woke
up late cos i was so tired. in the end
wad happen? all those that im very
confident of the answer didnt come
out. only 1 qn. how are volcanoes
formed. then those that i blur blur
one all come out. and i bet i get a
zero for my map skills. cos i dunno half
the qn. wth. wads the point of me
studying so hard when i still flunk in
the end. and after the test, my mood
was all the way screwed. malay
still got suprise test today. wtf.
i didnt even bring the file. i
didnt noe how to answer like half
the qns. and i dun care. cos i was feeling
so screwed i was ap-ing the teacher
all the way. cos all of us dunno
some qn then we were like talking
and saying we die and wadever stuffs.
then she was like "hey no discussing"
and i said "not as if we discuss can get
an answer liddat" and she looked at me
very long. i noe she can sense my
ap-ness. but who cares.im juz waiting to
kenna stripped off my post.
until come out for cca. feel even more screwed
when i was told we hafta go to b div
and leave zhen jiao lian, my juniors
everything! i dun wanna go. i really
dun want. i dun wanna leave that place.
i noe it sounds ridiculous cos we will still
see them. but like wad zhi jun says
the feeling is not the same anymore.

then we were playing the slapping
game again. and yeejin slapped me.
hard. so i pretended to cry. but then,
i was really crying. i really needa
let loose. i juz felt so screwed. but i was
pretending like im crying cos she
slapped me. im like so mad already.

we were made to play with juniors today.
and i cant stand it. totally. and im like
feeling how tired. so i went to take a
break after a torturous few minutes
of trying to teach my junior how to
play with chang jiao. and guess
wad. i juz fell asleep on the bench.
juz like that. typical sinyee.
then after that i mostly slacked thru
the whole trng.

haix. tue hafta go training at sunsports
already. our very first trng there and peiqi
wont be there x(. damn the sec 3 adv camp.
haix.i fee so screwed. it juz feels
like wad jin said. common test over
and im oso over. i bet i flunk every
single subj xcept languages. haix.
juz so so so screwed. i think my brain
gonna overload soon.

anyway trng today was so slack me
and jin juz sat down there and sang
because of you. and i realise we make
a great duo. haha really. then we were
like halfway thru tian hui when it rained.
how zhun is that larh. then i walked
thru the rain purposely cos i wanted to fall
sick for very long le. take a break from
everything for a while then i will
have the energy to continue mugging
for the rest of the yr. i noe wo ke yi de.
yes. i can if i want.

--sinyee

dun talk bout the physics paper. i bet
i flunked it too. mugging like hell for
geog lorh. haiya. im despo to score.
wadver. i have 5 more topics to go.
jia you bah! (:

--sinyee

i blew it. i totally blew the maths paper
today. wtf. i feel like slapping myself.
there was juz a pathetic 7 questions for
1 hour. and i cant even finish it. wtf.
and 2 girls in our class cried today after
the test. im like trying how hard to
control my own tears. i very nearly juz
cried like that. i cant believe that im
so pathetic.i didnt study for the income
tax thing. all cos of this. i cant do qn 6b)
onwards. wad a complete letdown. i really
really feel like slapping myself. all cos
of this. a whole 37 MARKS juz got
deducted like this. wad a failure larh.
so stupid can. how can i express my
frustration?!? urgh.

wad stupid international friendship
day. why cant it juz be any other
normal day like last yr? make me do the
stupid paper strips until like 12 midnight
last night and didnt manage to finish
up the zuo wen. so wad did i do?
WAKE UP AT 4 AM THIS MORNING.
im like how tired. and i haven even study
lorh. wtf. after class still hafta go
ACM until like 4.30 larh. im like so tired
until i fell asleep on the bus. then still
got the tan hui zhen's remedial lesson.
im in completely no mood to listen to
wad she says. but i forced myself to.
im prepared to flunk physics tmr.
yeahh wadever. die lorh.

on a lighter note, today is international
friendship day. peiqi gave me a box of
swiss-made dark chocs. looks really
ex larh... and gave sherry
and zhijun and yeejin a tolberone.
mine is a golden box with blue ribbons.
cant bear to even open it larh...so delicate.
but wtf. my mum thought some GUY
gimme one larh. bullshit can. its like juz
peiqi ok JUZ MY SENIOR! is there any
fcuking prob with a senior giving a junior
smth on IF day? NO RITE? WHY MUZ
IT BE A GUY TO GIVE ME THAT?
senseless talk. BULLSHIT ARH.
and she's like scolding me like i always
accept other ppl's presents. i mean.
come on larh. ppl buy stuffs sspecially for
you and you turn it down. if it was you,
you buy a present specially for someone,
when he/she doesnt accept it, you
will feel disappointed one rite?

i think im falling sick again. i've been like
sniffing non-stop since this morning
and now i started coughing liao. wtf. wad
a great time to fall sick. urgh.

--sinyee

tmr is the maths paper. tmr is
international friendship day.
tmr is the day we hafta go
ACM. haix. tmr is a busy day.

haix. tmr is international friendship
day. my class's ambassador is a
mummy in the end. i know it is my
fault again for going off for tournament
on that day and leaving you ppl to finish
up wadever was left to be done.
so, expectedly you all didnt do it. and
of course it is my fault. it was such a last
minute work. im really sorry we cant
do our jap idea. haix. got scolded by
ang today cos i forgot to do the duty.

im positive i flunked the lang. arts
test today. and i'll juz go on to flunk
maths, science then geog. haix.
tmr going to ACM. then come back
still hafta stay back for tan hui zhen's
half-an-hr remedial. feel so hopeless
liao larh. my cid not done, friendship day
didnt do a good job, hw cannot catch up.
wad good am i?
A GONER. haix.

i feel very guilty cos i didnt go for cca
today. i didnt pon it purposely. we all
thought there wasnt any cca. so i nv bring
my bat and pe tee. then sherry and zhi jun
tell e got cca. then i cant borrow bat that
is chang jiao from anybody. so i didnt go.
i think only sherry and zhi jun go. cos
is mr tan say train on our own and coach
wont be here anyway. but i dun get.
we have common test tmr and the
nationals already over...isnt time to
let us take a break?i needa study
for maths one lorh. and im
afraid i will get into trouble. haix

haix. haix. haix. haix. i cant stop myself
from pitying myself. im really pathetic larh.
so stupid...haix.

pls get away from her ok. i cant stand this
anymore. i dun want you to do this. and
pls dun act like you noe me so well.
im disgusted and irritated. juz get lost.

I don't know what to say.as expected, we lost
to RGS. but i felt somesense of achievement
and disappointment at the sametime. thats
why i dun noe wad to say. i would say RGS
was ok. we lost but at least we didnt get
thrashed at least i feel that me and jenn did
well.first match. we lost 11-8. 8 is already
very good i think. second match lost 11-5.
hmm. we didnt really do so well huh...third
match lost 11-6. guess its still ok bah...im
ok...even though i kept staring into space
after the match. i noe shibin and tessa and
peiqi is noticing...im really ok. i juz felt
disappointed too. i cant say why cos
who noes who is reading this. to those who
dunno. this is the reason i was so distracted
and down after the match.juz take it as cos we
lost 3-0. kwan ling and peiqi did REALLY
well today! they lost but lost with a
set score of 3-2 which is extremely good. ok.

and i got this really shocking news that this
teacher i cant say who, recommended me
for the sc thingy. according to her, the student
council will not be happy if i get elected cos
i have strong opinions and i dun like to JUST
listen to the leader. she says that i am the kind
of ppl to be elected and not only ppl who listen
to the leaders all the time. Okayyy... isnt that
the kind of ppl who gives leaders big headaches?
and im agressive. yeahh im aware of that. and
accordingto seniors, since she has such a high
position in the school, if i pass my inerview,
im sure to become an scwhich is the last thing
i want. urgh. whatever ok.i dun care.

i decided that i want to get into the team.
i will and i must.i noe im the one who can make
it happen. ok. the coach have the final decision
larh. but i will train hard hard and put in my best
so if im really good. iwill get into the team. i
want it to happen.i dun want to break my promise.
it will happen. it will.

tags:
kwan> heyy you and peiqi did well today!
so proud of you! =))

jingg> haha. thanks for your encouragement =)

jennings> haha. we made history in c girls only
larh..jia youu when we go b div. lets
get into the team tgt yeaa?

sylvia> hahaha yea...we share that common
hatred dun we =)

--sinyee

haix. another day closer to the doomed match.
i dun want larh! i know there's nth wrong
with losing. cos like wad cy said. we nv set out
to win the raffles family. which is, sadly, TRUE.
but still. losing is still very unacceptable to me.
in the nationals. my morale has been greatly
decresed like how many times from all that
losing until now, finally, i dun believe in myself
anymore. and specially to kwan: i know i
made a promise that i would train hard
and not be a reserve next yr. but it juz seems
like the chances of me having to play is so
slim. so very depressing. i know i tell ppl
not to doubt me. but im already doubting
myself. cos i know my limits. its very
difficult for me to be able to play next yr.
i dun want to be a reserve. but then.
do i have any choice? like who wants to be a
reserve like that. definitely not me larh. i want
to play. but am i given the chance or not.

im juz going more and more crazy already.
sure i will be disappointed if i become a
reserve YET AGAIN next yr. but wadever.
like who cares. dun ask me whether im ok
when we lose tmr. i cant stand ppl asking me.
wad happened during the dunman match.
i can control myself until ppl talk to me.
even though we were prepared to lose.
we know there is no chance of winning.
it doesnt mean that i wont feel sad.
dun ask. dun talk to me. juz be there. pls.

I hate suck-ups. I really really do. I
really cant stand the sight of you sticking
around with people having the insignias.
It is like so ridiculous to do it this way.
Being power-hungry and attention-seeking
is like so annoying. To all of us, to those
ppl you suck up to, and to you. Wad reward
do you gain in doing this? To a position with
great power? In this way, it's not your capability
but juz mere popularity. It turned out otherwise.
sucking up doesnt mean you get everything.
i realised that the seniors dun remember you
at all when we have to like vote or wad.
i noe you wanna be popular. and it's not wrong.
but do you hafta stoop yourself so low to have to
suck up to people in the high positions?
It is juz an action of desparation. maybe you should
see for yourself. how pathetic and blood boiling it
is to see your seniors getting sucked up. that is
UNSIGHTLY. how will you feel if that happened
to you? Nobody can help you if you choose to be such
an irritating suck up. you chose to ruin yourself.
no one will help you. so you can juz STOP sucking up.


went to je lib to study today. i finished my li jie wen da which
is late. i cant finish cos i got tournament and that day so much
hw. wadever. i will flunk all those tests ok.
and that tournament on monday is a sure-lose.
pls dun give me hope. i dun want to have hope and
lose terribly in the end. it will be too much for me.
anyway i bought that soft toy doggy today. another
strike off my wishlist. which is good.
i dread monday's arrival. i dun want to lose yet again.
i have lost countless times but why does matches with
nanyang and dunman make me cry? because i had
hope. i thought we had a chance of winning. especially
for nanyang. even though they were strong, i really
thought we had a chance of winning. as for dunman.
we should have won. but we lost. its all because i have got
hope in those matches. but they came crashing down on me
and ruined everything. our 1st position in west zone.
the top 8 in nationals. we were so close. juz so close
that i cant help but only cry. dun give me
any hope at all for the RGS match. unless a miracle appear
which is impossible, the chances of us winning is an
absolute ZERO.
PLS. no hope or i will break down again if i lose terribly
on that day. i cant take it you noe. stop giving me hope
and telling me i can do it. i noe very well that i cannot.
no matter how on form i am on that day, the
chancs are still ZERO. i noe very well how well
i can do. the match is juz for us to go and court
death. i cant do it and thats it.

--sinyee

let me say sorry to ppl im supposed to before
i forget. sorry to shibin cos i pangseh you today.
yee jin want me to go jp with her. very sorry.
sorry to peiqi to make you go so far in the end.
im very sorry...

ok. i got another tumbler :) from peiqi
today! the dale from one of the chip and dale
squirrels. haha. im so happy. anyway, the boys lost
today to i dunno wad set score. but they against
RI strong opponent mah...

tests next week...im so lag. haven study at all.
monday got swimming test, common test and
tournamnet. im feeling all that stress falling on me
now already. i onder how am i gonna survive
it this time...i dun think im gonna take it any longer.
its all too much for me already.

i got shortlisted for the sc thingy. and i dun wanna be.
seriously. i am already stressed enough i dun
want another responsibility for me. its too much.
i wont even think about it.

--sinyee

zhi jun went ahead and played today
anyway. she did a good job anyway. won 3:0.
me and jennings won 3:0 too today! moeka won,
sherry won, xin hui and yan ran won! haha.
we thrashed st joseph convent 5:0! haha.
b gals won them too 3:2! haha. today is a fine day!
and HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARIA!

my first match win them 11:3 second match 11:2 and
third match 11:7. i did a nice smack for them at the last ball
of match 2. haha. wad a nice win. and peiqi and kwan ling
won 3:0 too! <333 haha. i love the tumbler peiqi gave me. (:

anyway next monday v.s RGS. sure will die.
anyway we already out of top 8...aiya...nvm..

--sinyee

i noe we are gonna lose again even though
its a supposed -to-be-100%-win match.
cos zhijun fractured her finger and she cant play tmr.
i noe we will lose and i cant do it. i dun wanna
play anymore. we will lose without zhi jun.
spare me from the screaming. i bet i will juz cry tmr.
cos im trying very hard not to now. im a weakling.
i cant go on.

--sinyee

I blew it. We lost.

LOL. why now my blogger in chinese har. nvm.
more tags now har. new cpu. downloaded messenger
plus. got more font colours. ARIEL ISNT THAT
COOL? haha ok.

tags

wenyi> loke loke is MR LOKE! haha.

shibin> haha i got no choice mah..they say my
url prohibited. wad can i do?

zhiying> thankyew! =)

judith> thank you and tag often ok? =)

smiles> yeahh ok relinked =)

sylvia> y ok..haha. tag often kies? haha.

ok. today watched a very gory movie called
passion of the christ IF IM NOT WRONG.
its really disgusting although i watched the whole thing.
the part about the punishment part and
crucifixion were TOTALLY gory and i shall
not descibe it too vividly later you all vomit.
nvm. i feel very bored now. arhh.
i suddenly feel like converting to catholic.
but wadever.

--sinyee

Yays! I feel so happy! I finished my jian
bao and the science ws! It seems like i have
misunderstood the question that's why i
can't get the answer. haha. thanks ariel!
You have been a great help. =)
and now im left with the stupid killer maths.
and i dun even wanna try. i mean, i noe
thant i dunno how to do for sure. ohwells.
shan't waste mt time anyway. i WILL
try but i dun think there will be much outcome from
it larh.. nvm tmr's school reopen. and same as
jos. i half look forward and half dun.
i look forward cos i like school *haha*
and i dun look forward cos its one day
closer to the dunman match. wadever larh.

oh and anyway i have inserted the archives links.
its under the "me" section. feel free to refresh
your memory of wad i had written..haha

--sinyee

For the first time in my whole 13 yrs of
life, this is the first time i find myself
having no idea wad to write for my jian bao.
Seriously it's the FIRST TIME.
nvm. i'll die tonight. since all that i have
done is the geog reflections. im juz talking a bunch
of nonsensical crap in my jian bao.
wad a failure larh. such a simple thing like a jian bao
and i can be stumped. and i still have got the
killer maths and sci. urghhh. im doomed.

Tuesday match with dunman already arh...
this one also die. For one thing, their smacks
are very pro and they are very steady.
And they use hua mian. sry to pl who dunno wad
this is. its a type of rubber. ok.
nvm. die then die. i dun care liao. do hw now.

--sinyee

urghh...i tried doing sci. but i dunno how
to do cos the qn didnt tell me the object dist.
so like how to draw the angle larh.
maths even worse. i will so completely
fail. it's like alien lang to me can. wadever.
and chi that bao zhang du hou gan.
its the easiest. but im like so lazy. nvm im
gonna do anyhow. and 3 geog reflections
in 1 week. you 1 week got so many thoughts to reflect
one har? reflect on wad? how to play table
tennis and how to thrash dunman high izzit.
cos thats everything on my mind for the week.
considering i have training 3 days outta 7.

one thing. i should juz stop using the comp.
nvm my dad is gonna replace the cpu soon.
then hafta restore everything then i cant use.
even though its very chamm larh but still.
at least i can stop using it.
yeahh wells. im so bloody bored
im gonna finish chi and geog today and pia sci
and maths tmr.

--sinyee

wahh i dunno wad hapened to my bro's
eyes. he claim that he became blind for
a while last night. see larh. play ps2 play
comp. play until now the eyes spoil...
lol. wadever larhh.

school hols ending liao. i haven really done much
hw. im doomed. yeahh well wadever.
im so bored. why my tagboard always got so many
weird weird anonymous tagger
who claims to love me or wadever.
a bunch of cheekos. lol.
im bloody bored. i dn wanna do hw larh...

--sinyee

wahh...wad happened to my old link larhh...
wad this page is forbidden...crapp. nvm.

today was an extremely crazy day...was
supposed to wake up at 0700 to do some
hw..budden i lazed until 0815...haha then
cant get there on time larh..and when i got
outta my house at 0925, i was on the bus,
reaching jp when i re-read this msg from jos.
"pls rmb to bring the geog models."
and i was like OMG SHIT. i left mine at home!
i smsed ariel, no reply. called jos, nv pick up.
called veron, hp turned off...urghh...
and wad did i do? go all the way back and got
the stupid board then chiong down to the bus stop
in less than 5 mins.

reached at like 1115. wadever larhh..late and
everything. slacked around until mdm mak
out from staff seminar. told us to go classrm
to wait. but the shuttles at the staircases were
locked...then she went to look for class 4b's keys.
then we were like trying the door and it wasnt locked
haha..mdm mak went for nth...then we went
in and presented the 38 slide killer presentation
and the product. then left it in the class...hope
nobody will destroy it. xP

then me, peishi, ariel, veron, jos and hester went to
lot 1. walked around and all of us except hester
went to take neos. the first machine sucks
like some shit. got like 3 cams then one at the very
top then another at the middle and one at our foot.
we didnt even noe when the cam go off.
we needa keep looking out at the 3 cams to see which is the
next. so it was disastrous. we kept screaming ok...
thyen we decided to take a second one. this
time it was extremely nice. we did the banana
dance pose...haha and the indian one ariel
and jos did...and we saw kwan ling...ariel was
like so mad to go up to her and say "you look
like leng shan" my god larhh....crazy ariel! =))

ok then we went home le....today was juz soooo fun..
haha...im happy...im happy more often nowadays =)
and im glad. kill dunman high bah...xP

--sinyee

ok...today was another tiring day...2 sectors
training at jurong and rv again...today at
jurong more intensive. cos coach put me play
backhand which im better in, instead of
forehand. so i played more hiong larhh...
was once again late but this time late for bout
3mins. ahwell anything larhh...
stella and choon yen came today!!!! nice larhh haha..
wahaha, peiqi also came larhh and today she
played with me! =)))

not like yesterday...i said peiqi had some chem
prac thing rite, she skipped it to come and train.
like how nice rite and wad did coach do?
put her to play with moeka. its like so mean larhh...

damn it...school re-open second day tournament
liao...arghh damn scared...

--sinyee

today was the class leaders' workshop. it
wasnt as bad as wad i thought. in fact, i
thought it was pretty fun. yeahh...i was
in group 3. i was grouped together with 5
other chairpersons. Nobell from 1E, Esther
from i-forgot-wad-class X), Estee from 1L,
Cherie from 1B and Edmund from 2E. yahh...

we started with some group handshake thingy
as ice-breakers. we hafta create a group handshake
and everyone has to hold hands and produce 2 sounds.
then my grp was doing this crazy thing like we
anyhow hold and we stamp our foot until we
say "SHA!" this is wad you say when you
won a nice ball in table tennis. it was edmund's idea
cos we from table tennis. X) and we actually got 1st
for this lame thing..haha...

oh..the whole thing is like 4 hrs long larh
so i shant say detailedly...juz say that it was very
fun and i like estee! cos we all share a common
hatred for * in her class...ahaha...okok...
we got to noe each other larhh and learnt like how
you should handle your class when you have prob.
i really learnt alot. =)

i few quotes i found really meaningful...

"what you say and how you say it can be as
important as anything else you do as a leader"

"People don't care how much you know...
Until they know how much you care..."

and this poem mdm chan shared with us.
she said whenever we find ourselves feeling
down and shi bai cos of our dutie, we
should look at this poem. which in my case,
it happens alot.

Winners are people like you

Winners take chances
Like everyone else, they fear failing,
but they refuse to
let fear control them.
Winners don't give up.
When life gets rough, they hang in until
the going gets better.
Winners are flexible.
They realise there is more than one way
and are willing to try others.
They respect their weaknesses while making
the most of their strengths .
Winners fall, but they don't stay down.
They stubbornly refuse to let a fall keep
them from climbing.
Winners don't blame fate for their failures
nor luck for their successes.

Winners accept responsibilities for their lives.
Winners are positive thinkers who see good
in all things.
From the ordinary, they make the extradinary.
Winners believe in the path they have chosen
even when it's hard,even
when others cant see where they are going.
Winners are patient.
They know a goal is only as worthy as the
effort that's requird to achieve it.
Winners are people like you.
They make this world a better place to be.

okk...i crapped pretty much huh...
nvm..hope you all can see it my way..=)

--sinyee

today was a long and hard day...
went to train at jurong pri early
im the morning 9am. ok. did some
very intense training of my forehand.
coach put me to play forehand purposely
cos he noes my forehand sucks larh.
wadever. the 3 hrs passed quickly.
and soon it was 12 and me and
zhi jun and sherry and coach were
chiong-ing back to rv for our trng.
we were late for 10 mins. the trng
started at 1pm. then we train again.
i handed jennings her cookies. =)
i sincerely hoped it was nice...anyway,


i was feeling extremely bored to death
and wadever. when i saw rendylee in this
EXTREMELY SHORT pair of shorts.
and my friends were all laughing at the
way he looks. X) it WAS pretty funny.
and i was telling jennings "maybe he is
wearing an FBT" and guess wad?
moeka laughed out VERY LOUD. and i
looked at her incredulously and asked
"DO YOU EVEN NOE WAD IS AN FBT?"
it wiped the stupid smile off her face and she
shook her head saying "no."
and i said
"THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING SO HARD FOR?"
haha...she think she junior i dun dare tell her off.
she is so..cannot stand her larh.
her attitude juz sucks.

after another 3 hrs of trng, i was extremely
tired and i juz slept on the bus on the way home.
yeahh and i hafta endure the 4 hr
long class leader's workshop tmr.
crapp...so chamm arh...nvm...
tmr stella is coming...and peiqi arh...
your chem prac end at 3 plus we
end at 4..you dun needa come le larhh...
haiyo..pls make it on thurs.

im so laggy in my hw!!! i cant stand it already...
im gonna do some liao. i am prepared
to get stripped off my post...wadever.
the class even more happy...aiya...heck
le larh...

--sinyee

i read "Destiny's cries" today. i realise the
author likes using the name JACKY WU ZONG XIAN.
you noe. that taiwan host. ya..haha.
and the story was nice too. im like siann-ed to
my bones today. i didnt go to geog meeting
today. cos my mum dun lemme go larh! and
i wasnt feeling well when i woke up.
and peiqi sms-ed to say she saw pei shi. feel so
gek-ed! i would have seen her too if i went for meeting.
urghh...nvm...

tmr got training..and im not gonna be scary
to my baby sotongball tmr...haha =) and
can see xiao derrick. kwan ling going with us!!!

haha..i talked alot to kwan ling...yeahh
and she is a second cy. talk soooo much sense.
haha...i <3 kwan ling too! ya if you want me to name
the ppl i love in rvtt. the list will juz go on and on.

i love peiqi! i love jennings! i love stella! i love sotongball!
and on and on and on...wahahas....i juz so <3 RVTT!
im really so sian...online nobody talk to me. sms
all reply so slow. except sherrie. haha.
then i dun feel like doing hw. juz cant
bring myself to touch them. nvm. im prepared
to get stripped off my post. so slack...
urghh wadever...

--sinyee

oh...the "Old faces, New tricks" really all too
long for me le...i cant sit still so long staring
at the comp screen and i bet i will take more
than 1 1/2 days to finsh! cos trng and everything
ya...tmr going trng at jurong pri! can see xiao derrick!
then got trng in school. i <3 trainings. i <3 rvtt! :)

last nite. was very very mad at *.
not that junior. somebody else. i dunno why.
i cant stand her doing all this. maybe its juz me
or maybe she is the one with prob.
so i was practically screaming at anyone who would
talk to me online. cos its like 12.30 already larh.
and a big thank you to those i vented my
anger on. i was very vulgar i noe. cy and po cheng...
my consellor and po po rawks :)
cy, next time pls juz go and be a psychiatrist
or counsellor and FOC me when i go find you.
cos you always manage to talk sense into me.


ya..so after that i was thinking. why am i so
angry at her? at wad she did? like wad cy said
although i hate to admit. i was jealous. yeahh wadever.
and i decided wad she did dosent really
matter to me. i am not affected. she did not
affect me or those im close to. like my dear
jennings and peiqi and stella and shibin. yeahh and the
list goes on. i really shouldnt take wadever she's
doing to heart. cos its not worth it.
i shouldnt waste my time hating someone when
i can take that same time loving someone.
like my dear jennings :D
i shouldnt make myself so angry over smth
that doesnt affect me nor my close friends.
its juz not worth it...

--sinyee

haha...i went to the love stories link of
josephine's blog cos i simply had nth better
to do and i clicked on "I Believe You".
its a really really nice touching story.
i would say the music played at the last
chapter of the story was very influential
to make me cry...but i didnt larhh...
its so nice...i want to read old faces new tricks tmr!

some parts of the story i really liked.

But only love can stay,
Try again or walk away.
But i believe,
For you and me,
The sun will shine one day.
So i just play my part,
And pray you'll have a change of heart.
But i can't make you see it through,
There's something only love can do...

Remember: To be happy, you either change the
world or change your thinking.
To be realistic, you have to change your thinking
to be happy.
But me, i will change the world for you...

p.s: josephine. you noe i typed your name wrongly
and i SPECIALLY came back to change this ONE
mistake. =) wahahas...
--sinyee

today was that stupid walkathon thing...
was really stupid cos i woke up at 0530
and im supposed to give cy his morning sms
at 0515. urghh. and im meeting jin at 0550.
no time. juz pia and got outta the hse.
jin even later. didnt wait in the end.

the thing ultra spastic. nth to do. walk then sit down
and eat some dried up lousy beehoon and feeling
completely siann. then they tell us to go play the games
so i said i juz wanna sit and sleep. but queue up
for some candy floss in the end. after that went home liao.
i was there like sian like some shit and i sms peiqi
and she takes a hell of a time to reply until i
wanna kill myself. but yeahh. she's at a CHALET.
not some boring walkathon. of course she's taking her
own sweet time. urgh..

then went to eat ice kacang with jin, shi bin, tessa, maria,
valerie and kwan ling. then me and jin and
shibin went to jp to walk walk see see.
nth much. du diao. after that jin went home i went
to basement and chatted with shibin until dixon
shaun and jia qiang came. they wanted to watch
movie but i dun want and their movie is 1635.
so i chatted like so long with them about
like everything...then my father called me 3 times
and sounded extremely pissed when i finally went home.

wells, making cookies tmr for dixon and my dear jennings.
so lucky larh you. i hope peiqi was like that too. but
nvm, she's still my fav. =)

--sinyee

i changed a new skin! i love this skin cos its simple
and sweet...wahahas...pls give comments. (:

listen larh you all. about the script thing.
you all juz tell me i continue with or
without josephine and peishi's part then
ok le alright. it's ok. nth will stop me
from getting good marks for it.
not even if it means i hafta redo anything.
but you cant blame me for grumbling bout it.

ooh and peiqi is most likely going!!! wahh
i so <3 STELLA and PEIQI!!! =)))

--sinyee

holidays are so...cant be called holidays.
even though we dun really have hw but
have trainings on tue, wed and thur.
still got trng at jurong pri. haha xiao derrick is there!
ok. tmr is that stupid walkathon thingy.
i dun understand why izzit compulsory for sports
cca and taf ppl to go. i dun need any cip hours
and i would rather spend a nice sunday morning
sleeping like a pig than having to reach there
by 0645! and wads the worse part?
PEIQI IS NOT GOING! its so...urgh.

holiday trng would be fun. i <3 rvtt!
stella coming to train with us! yay..stella rawks! (:
im gonna get peiqi over as well. i dun care.
ok. still have to do geog presentation
on fri. specially go back for that. like HOW NICE?
how f-ing great is that. im not saying it's
anyone's fault coa it's the damned comp's
fault.

come back from holidays to flunk all the tests.
like how pathetic. yeahh well great.
wadever.

--sinyee

wahh...today extremely tired cos i slept very late like
12 last nite cos i was doing the script for geog
proj. wadever. then ytd had science prac test.
fail liao. 1 careless mistake caused my whole
record to be wrong and the graph is wrong too.
now holidays le. FINALLY. i've been anticipating for
like HOW LONG? time to catch up with all the
work. so guilty. i think i would be stripped off
the cp post soon...always nv do hw...
then holiday got yi da dui training lorhh...
then still got that terrible 4 hr long cp workshop.
i cant stand it already larh! im going crazy!


term 2 week 2 so bz. common test, learning journey,
international friendship day, wad crapp. then the
cid proj is like have to do the literature review
when i dun even noe juz wad the hell is that.
its not my fault lorh, i went for tournament ok.
then my group lag lorh. im not trying to say that we
are not doing anything ok but its juz lag.
aiya sian arh. still coming back for the presentation
on fri. i do the script until late like some shit in the
end today nv present. i noe i didnt finish the script
larhh but im kind enough to offer to do ok.
its a bloody 37 slide ppt lorh. so pla dun gimme
the pissed look when i say i haven finish. i hafta do hw oso
de lorh. its juz so guo fen larh. now i have to redo it all
over again.

--sinyee

ok. i didnt blog ytd. but too lazy to blog
bout the bball match we went to support.
i juz making 1 statement : they SO rawk.

today was cross-country. getting all the tips
i can from matthias. haha. thanks.
after school took mrt to bishan with ariel,
jos, peishi and veron. didnt have much
time when we reach, so juz took a snack, walk
around and we took a cab to MacRitchie.
took a hell of a time to look for 2c. after that
we were playing the bombing game with 2B
and 1L. we joined forces with 2b to qi fu
1L. haah who ask * in 1L. =p

then dunno when we went to gather at the burning
carpark then i took attendance and ran
here and there to find the remaining ppl in
my class. then we were led to our starting point of the race.

we received a false starting alarm and everyone started
running. then mrs yeow said she will say 3, 2, 1
and the alarm will sound then we will start.
in the end she counted to 1 the alarm didnt start but
we all heck care all started running.
i was running alone lorh. wadder hell.
then later slowly everyone started spacing away
then i was overtaking some netballers and 1 or 2 athletes.
was like half dead when i reached the killer slope
leading to the LONG highway. i stopped the first time
at the killer slope. then clarine was shouting for me to hurry
up. so i chiong. then first bus stop. winnie and
yue ting cheered like mad. hahas thanks (:

this centaur gal and i keep overtakingeach other at the
highway then i see a safe dist away then i stopped
to walk again. then she still continue running.
coming closer, then i started chiong-ing.
and i hear her say TSK. hahas.
i chiong like some shit at the bend into the reservoir.
then i stopped to walk AGAIN. then our mino level
i/c XIN YI came running past me and she stopped in front
of me. then she turned back and ask, wanna run?
then so i chiong-ed all the way and overtook her to the
gal guides at the finishing
line and finally overtook thsat unicorn gal who is always
infront. cos i really sprinted like mad.

then the girl guides hand me the number tag.
i look at the number and i wanna die. number 21.
wad the hell. i chiong until i wanna die i only
GET THE PATHETIC 21??? i was so...
disappointed larh. my aim for top 15...GONE.
then i reported to the whichever place larh.
i didnt get the red band so was even more disappointed
cos i last yr have. so that means im not top 10 of mino.
HOW IZZIT POSSIBLE?!?

while waiting for other runners, i found peiqi and we talked
for dunno how long. then she say she last yr oso have the red band.
so same boat as me.

then later prize presentation. top 10 runners of mino got
trophy. then only 8 gals went up. and one of them was xin yi.
and i was thinking, how come she slower than me she top 10
and im not? so after that i go ask.
and i got ANOTHER SILVER TROPHY.
my second this month! haha...good good...
after that got on the extremely
packed bus 52 and alighted at clemnti to take mrt.

go home my father still say. run 21st still got
trophy. so lousy. i mean wth. its ok already larh.
i not in athletics lorhh. still wanna train me to top 5
next yr. like how possible? 0%. then found out
that peiqi oso got a trophy and oso got lectured by her father.
the diff is. her father want top 20. my father wants top 5.

--sinyee
chiong-ed like some shit...

im emotionally unstable today.
i cried for no reson at the mrt station. siao.
i need my counsellor. NOW.
pia geog proj. mugging for everything.
i seemed to have forgotten the real
purpose of life now. at least i noe
wad im doing when i cry. at least thats
the real me.

--sinyee
my tears are worth nth...

I WANNA SCREAMM LARH!
ruin my mood can. f***. so
bull shit arh. URGH!

--sinyee

i cant stand it. that * is really so GUO FEN!
who she think she is? juz some superly
stuck up junior can. yes JUNIOR.
crying juz cos she dun get to play is ridiculous
enough. and guess wad she say to yanran?
"why must let the sec 2s play? i better than them wad."
like wad the f***. she is ABSOLUTELY more
lan than us can. anyone of us can easily thrashed
her without so much as batting an eyelid.
completely cannot stand it!
no wonder all the seniors hate her like shit.
i dun pity her. she totally deserve it.
someone should juz tell her how pathetic
she is by thinking she is better. PLS.
juz ask the coach and you will noe how
much she suck. if she become sec 1
co ordinator, she's gonna lead the team to death
next year. so ego. wad hell.
i will cross my fingers and pray ard she not co ordinator...

--sinyee

i told myself that it 's ok and im alright.
but why izzit that im unable to brace the loss?
i noe that everyine says that we cant expect
to win nanyang girls'. so be it. so why am i still
brooding over it? stop it already!

i noe you will hate me now. i noe i was harsh on you.
and im sorry about it. i was really very scared.
im very sorry! wad can i do? ='(

--sinyee
on the verge of breaking down...

well. like wad i've been saying all along.
like wad you all have heard.

we lost.

i was already so convinced that i dun hafta
play cos im second doubles. imagine the
shock i got when i went down to training
and was told that im now the first doubles.
i noe i said i wanted to be but it was so fast for me
to take. all the stress is on us...i was so tense.

i would say that i was very disappointed
with my performance today...i was extremely
off form. the B boys put up a great fight today.
you all rawk. really. it was a great game even if you ppl didnt win.
C boys you all rawk too. Won fuhua. even
though kam seng injured his arm, he still won with
nelson...it was close fight. but it was victory after
all. B girls nvm...you all tried your best le...
at least you ppl managed to stay there long enough.

that * is so guo fen larh. juz cos she wanna play then she
go tell coach to replace zhijun. then after that zhijun buay
song go complain then after that go back the same order.
then * unhappy she cant play so she cried. -.-

the B girls played with nanyang and the each of them
played for an average of 20 mins. THAT'S LONG OK.
C girls. wad happen? go up 5 mins get thrashed
down...all the supporters from our schhol like most
left halfway during the first match. i mean, then
who is there left to cheer for us? so it was complete ownage.

i wouldn't say my opponent is strong. they didnt even
smack us at all. jennings...i noe the both of us very
tense today...but you pretty much messed up...
pls dun be so tense...im very scared...i noe i messed
up too...so we are pretty much quits.

well, 3 matches of extreme tyco-lose balls,
i was totally not in the mood to say anything at
all. so i juz went and sat in a corner and cried.
it was so close. i think we can win them actually.
but why did we lose? thanks peiqi for cheering
me up. you rawk the most. after i was calmed,
another group of seniors came over and started
consoling me again. and a new wave of emotions overwhelmed
me and i started crying all over again. and
peiqi was desperately telling ppl to get away
from me cos she hao bu rong yi stopped me from crying.

our seniors said they were proud of us.
my coach told us that we cried shows that we have the fighting
spirit for the game and not juz let us lose
anyhow. wad can i say? I LOVE RVTT.

thanks yu shan, po cheng and sherrie. you ppl
really came and supported me...really
thanks...you all rox too...
matthias...really sorry im unable to bring you in.
im very sorry...thanks for coming anyway...=)
tessa, i didnt purposely throw your chocolate
away...i wasnt in the mood for any chocs...
im sorry...dun be angry kayy...

our school got the most amount of trophies.
48 trophies and 4 plagues in all. cool man.
all 4 divisions rawk.
C girls-- 2nd position
C boys--3rd position
B girls--2nd position
B boys--4th position

after the match had the prize presentation
then the photo taking session. as usual,
RV was the last school to finish taking photos
cos they want us to have so many poses. urgh.
then we did the "we will win the war" cheer
in the "we have won the war" version. thats the rvtt
spirit! i totally LOVE rvtt!

after that went to je to have dinner with seniors...
20 table tennis peeps. the scene was spectacular...
a sea of blue...(our tournament shirt colour) then went
home with kwan ling and yeejin.

now down to the nationals'. even worse.
the only school we can beat would be evergreen.
the rest cedar girls', RGS those better than nanyang
we dun even stand a chance of winning. nvm...

--sinyee
I LOVE RVTT.

ohman. tmr is the tournament...! i wanna be
the first doubles larh! wadder lorh..
tmr is like confirmed to lose larh...
no matter wad way or however you put it,
its confirmed to lose de...i might not even get
to play ): wahh....im like so tired and
so tense! waahhh....

today break record. no hw. so shuang.
haiya...lesson was like superly sian
as usual. haix...even if i play tmr will
oso confirm lose...

oh and im like so pissed with mak today.
i was in such a great mood when i came to school
today and it lasted all the way UNTIL HER LESSON.
she came into the class and was looking for
the mahjong paper she left with sherrie a few
days ago. then nobody bothered to answer her qn.
she suddenly siad "2c, you are a unreliable class."
and she started saying things like we always
hand in assignments late and wadever wadever.
then she was like scolding halfway she suddenly
look at me and said "huh chairperson? you all dun hand
in work on time!" and she was like giving me that
pissed look. once again, I WAS SCOLDED FOR THINGS
I DIDNT DO. i noe it is my responsibility and wadever
to ensure that the class hands in assignments on
time. but why izzit that all the teachers auto blame
chairman and not subj reps or dept chair?
if it is my responsibility, im pretty sure there's smth
to do with the dept chair too. like HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO CONTROL THEM TO HAND IN OR NOT?
if i do that for like every subj then wont i become
like HOW BUSY? then wad the subj reps do? slack arh.
win liao lorh...my fault larh. everything my fault.
fine...

--sinyee

EVERYTHING IS RESOLVED.
im so so glad to say this...it turned out that the *
incident ytd was all a misunderstanding.
im genuinely happy today. finally in a long
long time, i find myself happy again. it's a
great relief...i find myself very paranoid at this
sort of things. really VERY paranoid.
ohwells, nvm...everything is ok now...
oh yes and get well soon peiqi! =)

so sian today. tmr writing zui wen summore.
haix. fri coming le....will we win???
will i get to play??? we'll noe on fri...

--sinyee

THIS IS MY NUMBER 100 POST. =p

seriously, i thought your explanation yesterday
cleared everything in doubt and everything was
back to normal. but apparently not.
* didnt speak to me today. and of course i
didnt speak to * too. the feeling is juz
SO bad. i dunno why this is happening.
i really thought it was all ok. but it's so...
* didnt even say bye to me when * left.
i dunno wads the problem! HAIX. the
feeling REALLY sucks.

another even more sucky thing. i am
second doubles for the nanyang match. and i think
we will lose even more chamm. coach did smth
like separating xinhui and yanran. he actually
put xinhui as doubles with zhijun! i mean, how bad can that be?
a sec 1 and a sec2. scary to even think of
wad might happen to xinhui.
and I WAS PUSHED TO SECOND DOUBLES.
and yanran is now 3rd singles. DIE DING LE.
for one thing, i might not even get to play if the
3 at the front all win or all lose. so.....
if one of them win, and the other 2 lose, then the
set score will be 2-1. then is 2nd doubles which
is me. important match! if we LOSE, then it's all
over. if we WIN.(like izzit even possible), the set
score will be 2-2 and yanran will hafta be
the crucial person. whether we win or lose
depend on her. but as a sec 1, she is juz so panicky!
so regardless of wadever, the final verdict will
be us losing. wadverr.

lets hope i get sick on that day...

--sinyee

today was so sian diao....cid go that toa
payoh hub place. still nv learn anything.
although i saw the fabric of the nation...
so pissed at * today. shall not say it here...
so bz..

--sinyee

ok. i finished the chi shao nian wen zhai and
revised for geog. dun relly feel like redrawing
some dumb graph...assignment 2 can wait.
the deadline is tues. pia next morning.
thats y i always wake up at 4.
(the above example is PROCRASTINATION.
pls dun follow.)

i caught that damned flu...pei qi..your fault larh...
haix...feel so sleepy...yays..i wanna
lose nanyang 3:1 or 3:2. then chienying
will treat me to mac...wahahs...hope lorh...
arh....stop that damned flu! *sniff*
...sian arh....

--sinyee

why cant i juz bring myself to obediently
finish that mountain of damned hw? why
muz i always slack and keep using the comp?
So far only finished geog ws, eng ws, maths ws.
i still have chi hw and sci assignment and redraw graph.
i muz finish them tmr and revise geog.
yes...that wad i'll do...

next fri tornament with nanyang. DIE. sure die.
dun tell me you noe that i can do it. i tell you.
i SO cannot do it. wait to see how i get thrashed
and shouted at again...

--sinyee
pick myself up and FIGHT.

went to do proj today at pei shi's house.
nth much larh. we didnt manage to slack..haha
ran juz now to train for cross country.
doesnt make much diff. 3.2 km for 12.36min.
ok bah...hope got this timing during the actual run...

nex fri tournament better no one come support c gals.
go there see how we lose to nanyang only de...nvm...

--sinyee
i've still got you...

how can i even be sure anyone likes me
as a real friend and not juz someone to
approach in times of need? i dun think
ppl really listen. i mean most of the time i juz get
cut off and i didnt even manage to get
anything out of my mind.
i dunno...i feel that my friends are all so..
i dunno wad. i dun think they concern how i feel
or whatever. not as if anyone cares.
wells. dun needa understand. im juz
trying to feel sorry for myself.
do i have a true friend? someone pls
enlighten me...

--sinyee
in the lonely nights...

haix. today lesson was ok. didnt feel sian actually.
cid was pretty ok too. all bout making models for
our buildings. haix. today take the wrong attendance.
so shi bai rite? attendance oso can take wrong.
tsk. haiya...coach gave me a box of ferrero rocher
today because he shouted at me during the tournament.
ohwells. thats the best part of the day i guess.

training was so tiring. so so very tired. this weekend
homework so much...sure cannot finish.
so bad lorh. im unhappy today. but i dunno wad im
unhappy over. -.- maybe it's the hw. maybe it's the
responsibilities...maybe...

only till today i realised how untrusted i am.
people dun trust me. well...till today i noe
how much has been on my mind recently.
i realised how unimportant, how useless,
how stressed up i am. nobody really understands.
when i need someone there. there isn't anyone.
absolutely nil. i dunno how to say.
people juz nv understand. juz because i put on
that smiling front doesn't mean that i am happy.
i dun expect you all to understand or wadever
but...ohwells nvm.

its like i juz have no one to turn to. ppl nv seem to
care how i really feel. it is juz so depressing
to noe that none of your friends are there for you
when you really need them. what, exactly, is the
purpose of the words "friends forever"?
unless you juz say them on a regular basis and dun
really mean it. but it juz means you will be there for
your friends no matter wad happened. through thick and thin.
sad to say, i dun have such friends.

--sinyee
wads the way it should be?

today lesson so sianZz...everyday liddat.
woke up at 4 today to finish the si han.
haiix...go to school damn tired. didnt even get
to study for sci test. haix. anyway, i guess
it was ok larh...

waited for yeejin for like 30 mins after school
today and found her in the art room dilll-dallying
on her batik. adeverr. then i was like "i waited
long enough" and she told me she hafta stay back for
the maths games thing. which means i waited
for her for nth.

that teacher from effective com. was like
walking around when he found me and my LONG nails
and started going on on how vanity is this that wadever.
he tot i purposely kept it long. ohwells, im juz too
lazy to cut them off. luckily mr ang arrived with the new
timetable and saved me of his mindless chatter.
there is totally no diff. in the timetable...waste paper.

i shouted at 2c today again. those boys who refuse to
keep their mouths shut. after several warnings, i
lost control and flared up. they didnt want to
listen to me. they wanted to challenge me. that
juz about shows how shi bai i am again.
ang still tell me she thinks im a good chairperson
and does things very quickly. crapp. i mean,
face it. lousy is lousy, dun even bother hiding that fact.
shi bai-ed.

--sinyee
ohwells.

juz wad is this? have i lost totaly control of myself?
i have no ability to make them listen to me.
im useless. yeahh wadever. i can joke with you,
but pls dun make me do all this. i hate it like this.
i feel bad at flaring up at you all too.
i hate it this way.

i noe im SHORT. yeahh. wadeverr.

--sinyee
let's win the war...

haiix. today v.s nanhua. feel so not on form.
my ankle suddenly feel painful...dunno wad
prob. wahh then go there feel even more
stressed larh. jennings today oso not on form.
then i damn scared i keep saying i will lose the match.
ohwells. started training with lijie. was pretty
ok larh. i was damn scared already.
then zhijun play first singles. she oso very scared.
she won 3-2. then its like my turn. and im bloody scared
although pei qi told me i would win. i mean LIKE REAL.
didnt play with pei qi's sis. wadever. then me and jennings
won the first match. then dunno why second match
we lost. got screamed at by coach. and everyone
was like looking at me. i damn scared jennings will cry.

go back for third match, missed a few balls and
ended up losing again. this time coach shouted
at me very very loud. ME ONLY. i dunno why
he didnt scolde jen. cos she make fewer mistakes i guess.
then im like damn scared but i dun dare to tell jen
cos i scared i influence her. then this match we won.
so half fight. 2-2. damn-it last match i was soooo
scared like dunno wad i dun dare to do anything wrong
i already tot we will lose liao. then who noes.
we thrashed them 11-2. ohwells. then i went back to sit
down and started crying. i mean wadder hell. im so
scared and i dun dare to tell jen and im trying to act jian qiang.
thats alot for me to take lorh. so i cant help it and
broke down right there. i dun gie a damn anymore.
i won and thats it.

then went to the canteen to buy drink
the wadever school de teacher i/c come over and say
my coach.
" how can he be so fierce?" , " when the player is down,
he should encourage them", " he shouldnt scolde you all so fiercely."
and i told him with a smiling face. "he's juz nervous
too." and i was like so damn angry can. i mean, I AM
the one who got scolded, not HIM. so why he wanna come
sy anything when i didnt say anything? i told jennings "
wads his prob? i like being scolded cannot izzit?"
and not scolding the players like wad coach did when
they lost is wad he say. 'he should encourage them."
yea, and see wad happened? they encourage and THEY LOSE.
bloody. he have no damn right to say the way my
coach scolds me. its none of his business larh rite.

now its down to nanyang. we are already 2nd in west zone.
if we win nanyang, we get 1st. but lemme tell you.
its like almost impossible man. wells. i will still
try my best. (: anyway, my coach lemme scream at him after
the match to bu chang...haha

--sinyee
WE HAVE WON THE WAR!

wahh..today so slack lorh...didnt manage to
make cookies...cos i dun have enough butter.
then pia the eng ppt. budden suddenly the screen
got something one patch white white block
the screen then i cant see... then no suddenly ok liao.
gonna pia that damn proj...wahh sian...
didnt even manage to do hw. only finish 2.1 and sci
correction...argh!!

--sinyee

wells...down to making cookies again today
le...20 for dixon and another 20 for jennings.

>jennings: hey. now i give you one box liao
hor, no matter wad we hafta win nanhua okaes?

ok...i must win the war...cos im falling behind...
and im despo to catch up...wadever..we win
nanhua then got KFC liao..hahas..nice..

tmr b boys against hci..b gals against dunearn
which i heard very strong now....lets hope we
all win the war...(:

today's a sian day...stay at home and do hw
i damn scared i will flunk all my subjects
cos now i find all of them so boring and difficult
to concentrate on that i can fall asleep at every lesson.
wahh..sci test next week..i haven even study...
if its tmr then i die. if it's wednesday,
how do i bloody study??? tournament
reach home already like 7 or 8 liao lorh..
die ding le...

--sinyee
jennings and celestine; we will win the war (:

today went to causeway point to watch i
not stupid too. sad sriel didnt come. ):
the show was so damn touching. i cried.
i dun believe it myself too. i was still betting with jin
that i so WILL NOT cry. ahh...then went to
shop around but geog proj is cancelled. im
really scared of the nanhua match... REALLY.
ohh shit...pls pls pls lemme win the war.....

--sinyee
jennings and celestine; doubles pro. (really?)

ok. dun feel like blogging bout the c boys match.
only say. they won unity 3-2. almost lost.
all cos of yu fan , "the man of the match" quoted by
yu jie that we won. ok wadever. then they totally got thrashed
by nan hua 1-4. they damn strong larh....
ok nvm. i changed my link liao..the previous one too long.
wah next week v.s nanhua...dunno whether will
win anot...im scared...

--sinyee
WE WILL WIN THE WAR...(TRY TO)

wahh..sorry nv update ytd..but i think no one really
cares larh rite...wadever. the reason i didnt update
ytd was cos i dun dare come online cos my mum scolded me
like mad cos she say i online until very late. ok. that. i
forget it. then ytd i return home from tornament and
she scolded me again fr nothing. wth. i dunno wads
her prob. anyway WE HAVE WON THE WAR (:
ytd our team's morale was like damn low, i think
close friends will noe why...DUN TELL... SHHH!!!
then summore coach so pissed...anyway we won
4-1 cos the teacher i/c wanted to put two sec
1s who nv play doubles tgt before to play. so in the end
they made blunders and there goes our point.
but the c boys finally zheng qi le. they won 5-0!
although i didnt stay for the match cos i was so tired...
and ytd was a very nice v.day! received alot of chocos
and alot of things i love so much...wahaha
i got the hair pin i want...thanks doudoubing! <3 u

n today went lot 1 and bought the hair pin again.
in a different colour though. cos i simply adore them.
haha...i felt so bad i didnt go support pei qi today lorh.
cos no one accompany e then pei qi tell me dun go
alone lorh. then they going at 1.30 i came out from class
to jia you for them budden they already go liao
lorh! wth. damn sad larh. pei qi haven tell me the score yet
lorh...wahh....we must win...i next tuesday v.s nanhua
then got a high possibility i will be against pei qi's sister!
i mean. imagine! your fav. senior's sister! im so
gonna thrash her man. IN THE PRESENCE OF PEI QI.
wadever. i was damn scared when i played unity ytd.
but we won beautifully and that's basically
the point of everything. ok..sian...

--sinyee
WE HAVE WON THE WAR...(:

wahh...tmr is the tournament! WE WILL WIN
THE WAR! ahh wadever larh. tmr is v.day.
sian. spent like close to 20 bucks or more than
buying presents for only 5 person...haha...
im gonna tell you wad i buy for them. i can
say, i mafe cookies for pei qi, SMTH for
ariel, SMTH for josephine, SMTH for pei shi,
SMTH for veron and SMTH for yeejin...ok lame
but they are all different SMTHs haha...
sorry for those i nv get anything for...i on
a tight budget...wahaha..sorry...and now i owe
dixon 20 cookies cos he won hua yi and yuan ching
in the tournament with set score 3-0. haha. pro.

to day swimming so bull lorh. changed a coach
for one lesson and the bloody coach wasted our time
like hell. keep on teaching us things we already learnt
and when we tell him he didnt even care. wadever.
me yanyi and shuhui spent the lesson cursing him..
wahaha...ok i noe im mean. and pei qi will go support me tmr!
jennings! you better keep quiet bout me eating those things!
later she decapitate me arh..haha shhhh!!!

then after school got training...i trained with jennings
and she kept complaining that she's tired.
so i said. if we thrash jun hao and kam seng, then
she can go home immediately. and wow.
motivation really does alot...we really thrashed them 3-0.
wahaha...ok nvm. i trained with sherry and
it was damn fun..i hope i was singles. dun needa
care bout wrong court. then she kapt smacking me and i kept
serving weird balls she dunno how to catch.

then went home with sherry, jun hao and jie ren. wahh
jie ren made a dirty joke on the mrt. :

somebody went to the restaurant and saw a spoon and
a knife but no fork. so he went to the counter and said"
can i fork on my table?" and the person said " no
you cant FORK (F**K) on your table. everybody
wants to fork on their table.
and i rolled my eyes
then he went to i-forgot-where and ordered two piece.
then the person only gave him one piece so he went to
the counter and said" i want TO PISS (two piece)
on my plate." and the person said " no,
you cant PISS on ur plate, you do that in the toilet!"
but that person insisted " i want TO PISS on my plate!"
and me and jun hao was bursting with laughter and
sherry got no reaction. then he started again.
that person went to a hotel and he saw only one sheet
of blanket on the bed. so he went to reception and said "
i want TO SHIT (two sheets) on my bed" and the
person replied, alarmed" you cant shit on your bed!"
and me and jun hao dying with laughter already and
sherry STILL has no reaction. then later i realise why,
cos she didnt understand wad jie ren was saying.
and i guess she forgot she was in an mrt too. she went
very loudly" WAD SHIT ON THE PLATE, WAD PISS ON THE BED?"
ok for one thing, its supposed to be THE OTHER WAY round
and almost everyone turned to look at her. me and jun hao already laugh like
we cant stand straight. then i was begging sherry to
stop saying anything but she went on "WAD PISS ON THE BED?"
wahh sai, you bet that cracked me up...haha

--sinyee
WE WILL WIN THE WAR!!!=))

i dunno wads wrong with him. he doesnt seem
like the person i remembered all along.
wads the matter? he juz refuses to tell
me. said i wont understand. well, if you didnt try
to explain anything at all to me, how can i understand?
how am i supposed to understand when you juz
gave me tha weird attitude and talked so
much crap and i dun even get wad you meant.
pls. i wanna noe wads bugging you. im sure
i would understand. pretty sure. if you want
me to say yes, you've got to explain everything
and let me gain the trust in you again.

--sinyee
we will win the war...(:

wahh...second post for today. i baked cookies
on my own today! wahaha..it came out double the size
of wad we made during home econs. i wont
say it was a failure, in fact, its pretty much
a success. it tastes so nice now i dun feel like
giving them to pei qi anymore! wahaha...ohwells.
hope she likes it anyway...whee...my bro says
it's famous amos standard. ok its not THAT good
larh ok juz mebbe, a little close...haha...im so
happy...wahahas...

--sinyee
and im outta my mind...

i really thank all of you who cheered me up.
really. thank you. i noe that i muz have been
lousy or useless at times, but i dun want to be
that way too. i will jia you. mebbe think in a
not-so-negative way.i'll try my best. thanks everybody.
you all rawk big time. =))

--sinyee

im ok. im alright. i will continue to lead
2c and strive to lead them well. even though
i still think that im shi bai but after looking
at all the positive remarks i realised not
everyone hates me. i will continue with my
"battle with the morning assembly crowd".
pls assist me. passer-by...can you pls pls pls
reveal who you are??? im glad you are tagging
positive remarks...thanks everyone...

--sinyee

its late le. but im not asleep.i guess no one
comes to this blog anymore. except for the
few occasional taggers. well, better. i can post
things i dun dare to post in the past.

i find that im such a useless and shi bai
chairperson. i have not led the clas well at all.
they dun wanna listen to me and i have to always
shout at them and they hate me ):
i dunno wads the problem. im juz so useless.
im not as good as ariel. i noe that. i noe you ppl
will compare me with ariel, yes, but pls, dun
think the the chairperson noes everything.
it's not true. i'm a human too. and i've had enough.

wad with all the tournament stress, i am already missing
some not-so-impt lessons. i miss out on things and
i dun think ppl bother telling me wad they are.
everyone likes to ask me questions bout all kinds of
things. homework and whatsoever. i try my best to
answer your question but you must noe. im
not a know-it-all. i think it's perfectly ok for a
chairperson to not noe smth. i dun see wads wrong with
that. im fed up of you ppl always thinking that
you can blame everything on me juz because im cp.
you dun come in late from break and think that its
ok juz because i m oso late for coming to class. it's still wrong.

there's so much hw i totally dun undestand
wad hell mak is talking bout. all those
projects and homework are alreay eough to drive me crazy.

and today, she blamed me for the class not handing
in their work on time. im so fed up with this kind of
blaming. remember that small piece of newspaper
stuck on the board? and ang said that if not one admits
who did it, she is gonna punish the chairperson. wth.
i dun think that this is at all fair to me. you ppl jus nv seem
to realise that i will be held responsible for wadever foolish
acts you ppl commit. yes of course you will be scolded but
it's after the teacher is done with the cp.

wad are all the subject reps for?
ka ying is the science rep. she is supposed to noe which lab we
are supposed to go to if it's a lab lesson. but why is SHE asking ME?
doesnt anyone understand that as a subject rep. you have
the responsibility to find out the info for the class and not juz ask the cp?
knowing where we are supposed to go for science lesson
is not wad i call "a cp's job" it is the science rep's job. and that's it.

another one is the art rep. we always find ourselves going
down to the art rom during art and find that we are
stuck outside. the art rep should automatically go look
for the teacher and not wait for ME to tell you and still
act blur after that. you should go and look for the teacher
if he/she is late for class like wad ariel did when mr lee didnt
come to class one day. i feel that you ppl jus lack the
responsibility and importance of your job. every role in the
class committee counts. the class is not juz made up of
the chairperson and deputy. which anyway, the deputy is useless too.

every morning, i can go downstairs and spend like forever to
get you ppl to get into line and shut up for once and when
i get to the back i will still see ppl standing around. well,
that bloody deputy is supposed to assist me and get them to
go into the line and shut up but all he did was stand there and
sometimes, ridiculous as it seems, talks along with them.

i tell you all, im sick of being blamed by the teacher 4 things
i didnt do. i have to clear up after you ppl everytime you
are late going down or didnt bring that consent form.
i always get scolded. i dun even see the deputy getting scolded.
for crying out loud, pls. subject reps, everyone. CAN YOU
PPL PLS MAKE MY LIFE EASIER??? im starting to hate school
more and more. to see that most of the class is gone when
i bring you ppl down for morning asembly. andTHAT'S MY FAULT TOO.
the walking speed of you ppl is jus plain ridiculously SLOW.
i dun get why you ppl cant juz shut up for a while. it's not
as if you wil nv have another chance to tal to your
friends. that's bloody rubbish. i've had ENOUGH. :

--sinyee

ok. the B boys returned with the utmost
glory. couldn't be better. they thrashed
fuhua 5-0 and dunearn oso 5-0. so proud
of them man. C boys muz buck up!!!
next tuesday we against unity le.
coach say wont be an easy match. so we better
dun underestimate them. if we win unity, it
would be down to nanhua.
if we win nanhua, we will get 2nd and we hafta
face nanyang to fght for first. and if we lose nanhua,
we hafta fight with fuhua again for 3rd and 4th.
wah...stress...we MUST win unity and nanhua!
then at least if we lost to nanyang we still got
2nd place and the pizza treat will be waiting for us!!!
ANTICIPATING.
pei qi has been watching wad i eat man. cant eat this
cant eat that. she say cos she dun want me to be sick for the
next match. wahahas....she muz come lorh. that
BLOODY tan still wanna change some dunno-wad
then she say she might not be able to go...BLOODY...
she MUST go!!! wahahas...still my BESTEST senior...=))

--sinyee
and im not gonna make you happy by making myself sad.

ok. i received the results for the C boys
tournament today. we won but not too good.
only the singles won, the doubles lost. so it's 3-2.
oh wells...i guess it's ok...but juz hope that
they can continue and get into top 16 for nationals'.
ok. whatever. tmr got training. DARREN im telling
you, i WONT let you find me de! humph! haha
try it man. you sit in the canteen all day oso
no use...at most i dun go break and pon cca...
LIKE REAL. ok mebbe you will find me...but im
ginna make you very buay song! haha! okok
im joking larh....

i dun care bout that already larh. it's juz pretty
plain childish to get angry for that. even though it
ia pretty mean. wells, im not gonna make myself
angry or wadever. and cough like mad...
wells...pei qi, still my BESTEST senior...haha
muz come watch me on tuesday! i need your support...
wahaha....(:

--sinyee

ok. we won the tournament. actually,
we THRASHED fuhua 4-1 and dunearn 5-0.
was having a slight fever when i was
playing dunearn...dun care then reach home
39 degrees.nvm. the thing is we won. and the B gals
won too! we rawk! jia you for C boys and B boys!

--sinyee

i didnt go to school today. actually got up
at the usual time and took my temp. great.
37.7 i can go. so i got ready and changed and
everything and took my temp later again and
it went up to 38. so i stayed home. and now my
temp is 36.5 fa leng izzit...so sian. today missed
extra training le larh. tmr is the tournament!
wah so nervous man....i hope can win sia....
so sian stay home nth to do...dunno how much i missed
not going to school today...well, im so gonna
turn up tmr...it's the tournament man!
thinking bout it makes me tensed...

--sinyee

tournament is juz 2 days away. my cough
refuses to leave me alone and zhi jun sprained her
leg...i got a very bad feeling bout this man...
wah siao lorh. zhijun is second single and im first
double. can die liddat larh. wah...pls pls lemme
recover......wahh......

--sinyee

and im not gonna let it affect me

i bet this is my SHORTEST post evr...
arghh...im llosing my voice le!!! and is my decision
correct? i dunno wad is the way i want
it to be..can i not choose? im afraid i will break the
promise...it's so difficult to face you again...

--sinyee

and im confused...